Full of Grace (Scomiche)

Ch 1. The End

Scott felt empty.

He felt used and defiled and completely wrecked. Alex was gone. Not 8 hours before this very moment everything in his life had seemed absolutely perfect. He’d wished for nothing.

Then a confession.

The truth of the entire matter had come to light and as it did his reality had come crashing down. How could he trust anything anymore? Anyone? Alex had never really loved him. He had told him so. And it had to be true, because if Alex had ever loved him then he would never have broken his heart with such audacity...not a tear in sight. He acted as if it barely even mattered, like Scott was just a toy that could be tossed aside when he was done playing with it. Scott's heart, to him, was unimportant and breaking it was effortless. There wasn’t an ounce of care on his face as the words spilled from between his lips.

Two years.

Two years of his life he had given to Alex willingly, gladly. They were obviously wasted. He had loved him. He gave Alex everything there was to give of himself. How had he not seen that it was all a lie?

He swore he had seen love in his eyes, swore that when he told him he loved him that he meant it, swore that when they made love he could feel the connection so strongly…Clearly it wasn’t at all as it seemed. Love was not in his eyes, he had never meant any words he'd ever said, and they had never ‘made love’ …only sex.

The love, the meaning, the connection was all in Scott’s head. He had loved Alex so wholeheartedly that he had just convinced himself of these things. He had wanted to see the love in his eyes, hear it in his voice, feel it in his body so desperately that his mind just convinced him that they were there. But no. Here he was sitting in the bedroom of their apartment-  

No. Not their apartment anymore, his own apartment again  

-staring at the wall. What else would he do? He didn’t want to see anyone. He didn’t want to go anywhere. He didn’t want to move or think or feel. None of it was real anyways. Everything he’d come to know, love and take comfort in was a lie. How could he trust anyone? How could he trust anything? Never again.

~ 

3 Months Later

Scott looked up as the door clicked open. A younger looking guy walked in. He was impeccably dressed, hair perfectly parted. He practically screamed money and had walked in like he owned the place.

This was interesting...

“Can I help you?”

The newcomer was holding a newspaper clipping.  

Great, another one..

Scott tapped his fingers on the desk as he watched the man remove his sunglasses revealing the most colorful brown eyes he'd ever seen. He'd never thought of the color brown as colorful, but that was the only thing he could think of that would describe them.

“I read in the newspaper that you’re looking for a new vocal coach?” He seemed a strange mixture of nervous, yet confident. Scott couldn’t quite figure it, or him, out. He looked nothing like any of the other countless singers that had been trying to secure a teaching spot here at his mother’s school of the arts. They'd all been old or weird or smelly or some combination of the three.

“Yeah, do you have any experience?” Scott pulled the paperwork out of the desk drawer. It was starting to be almost reflex at this point. His mother had left him in charge of filling the now empty teaching position that had so suddenly become vacant.

It had previously been his own. It wasn’t that he wanted to stop singing, it was just…gone. He‘d tried, oh he had tried, but his emotions were so blocked off, guarded, that it was just forced and flat. So he worked in the office, did the paperwork, made the phone calls, placed orders. It was odd, but Scott didn’t mind. It didn’t require a lot of thinking. It only inhibited his willingness to stay cut off from the rest of the world.