Neon Lights D.T.

Part 1

It doesn't seem real.

Everything I could remember was still settled in my head, like a huge scar, like a tattoo... a dent.

My eyes were fixed on the rain droplets that formed outside of the car window, and yet my mind did not follow the droopy patterns............ 'mom' ,I thought .

I had teared at the thought. To me she was still there, and yet.... she wasn't. But I could remember her. I shut my eyes and there she was, her jet black hair and coffee like skin, the smell of Cinnamon, her humming a tune in the kitchen and it was always the same song.

*BEEEEPPP!!!!*

I snapped out of my daze and opened my eyes. The car next to us had sped off into the right lane cutting someone off. Tears slowly roll off my face like the dense rain on the windows.

"Y/N are you okay? Did you have a bad dream?", My father said with concern

" Yeah... I did.", I lied vaguely wiping the tears from my cheeks

"do you want to talk about it?"

"No dad! i'm 17 i'm not 12.", I rolled my eyes

he sighed " I just want to make sure you're okay."

"I'm fine. alright.", I scoffed

" alright.", he said heartbroken turning back to the wheel

I had went back to my thoughts back to this horrible day. I use to love the rain, the gray scenery and the sound of water dropping from the sky, the soothing sound of each glistening puddle and the beautiful white lights that struck in the sky. When I turned ten my whole life changed suddenly the rain seemed like another task, something I could never deal with. But I'll explain exactly how I got to this point in my life all in time.

"so any plans for the summer?", My father asked

I starred out the window with no reply

my father sighed "come on Y/N. I'm trying to make an effort here. just help me out."

".....", I repeated

"look I know that you miss your mom. I get it-"

"no you don't. you can't possibly. you don know what it's like to loose your mom at my age dad! you'll never get that!"

"......you're right. i'm sorry."

We sat in silence until we pulled into my dads driveway. The rain settled to drizzles. I'd set my eyes on my fathers house in awe, the house was huge i'll admit that. And the neighborhood didn't look terrifying either.

"I'll grab your bags. you can get settled."

"no. it's okay I got it.", I claimed "you can relax dad. I feel better when no one touches my stuff."

"are you su-"

"I'm sure"

he nodded and headed into the house leaving the front door open. I started with small things the tinniest to the bigger I felt relaxed. It took me a while but I didn't mind at all, It distracted me for a while. box by box I lifted and pushed and pulled and placed, and then I was down to my last box I lifted the box to my chest and cautiously walked around the car. I was slightly up the driveway when I slipped on the wet concrete and fell, everything in the box spilled out.

I grunted "ugh perfect." I pulled myself to my knees and started to pick everything up placing it back in the box, I paused

a light pink jewelry box sat in the grass near my hand and i slowly reach for it. I dust tiny blades of grass off the box and open it. this was the last thing I had to remember my mother all of her letters and pictures lay in here along with a couple of jewelry and a lipstick she always wore. I lifted the box to my face a inhaled deeply.

I smiled and tears rolled down my cheeks, it still smelled like her, like cinnamon, it was a strong scent it felt like she had never left like she was right in front of me. and then boom......

I'm back to reality.

a car drove up into the next house. I quickly snap out of my thoughts and swiftly pick everything up including my feet. I wipe my tears away and pick up the box.

I looked over to the car and there were a couple of boys caught in a conversation I went on hoping they didn't notice me as I snuck into the house.

"hey is everything Okay I thought I heard something fall?", my father said covering the end of his phone

"yup all good just dropped a couple of things", I said walking up the stairs

" okay. hello? yes i'm here Henry...", My dad continued

I made my way to my room and placed the last box on a chair next to my mirror and in that moment i looked around and I just knew now.

'She really is gone.'