The Enchanted Forest (OutlawQueen)

Chapter 1

Regina lay awake in her old bed, staring up at the gilded ceiling. Her mind kept running over the events of the past two days, making it impossible to sleep. Thoughts were filled with one person: Robin of Locksley, the outlaw who had proved he was not just like the rest. Questions, unanswerable ones, flitted through her mind like so many of Snow's bluebirds: why had he saved her from those monkeys? Why had he insisted on coming with her? Why did he try so hard to persuade her that the sleeping curse wasn't the answer? Why was he so happy when she decided against it? And why did he keep looking at her across the room, with that look in his eyes that both thrilled and petrified her? He of all people shouldn't care about her, she'd wanted his head on a platter for years.
None of them had gotten any sleep the night before as she, Snow and Charming were trying to get everyone in, sorted with rooms, bedlinen, food. Robin hadn't been there as he was setting up some villages near the castle, but she sorted a room for him anyway, somehow suspecting he'd want to be in the thick of the action. Now, a day later, after at least thirty six hours without sleep, she was tossing and turning like a ship on the open sea. She couldn't stop thinking. Her heart hurt with the loss of Henry and she wished she could just rip it out and be done with it. But she knew Snow would know instantly and she didn't need her breathing down her neck any more than she already was. She took some slight consolation in that the girl's heart wasn't completely pure anymore. That dark patch had ingrained itself into her memory, giving her some sort of leverage though she knew it was manipulation, the trademark of the Evil Queen and the persona she'd tried so hard to get rid of. She finally dropped off into a restless sleep, her mind replaying his words over and over again: "We all get a second chance, Regina. You just have to open your eyes to see it."
She woke the next morning still tired, hair a bedraggled mess and eyelids stuck together with sleep. Groaning, she rolled over, accidentally falling out of bed and landing in a pile on the soft rug on the floor. She buried her nose in it and wished she didn't have to move. But she did, they had a strategy meeting at ten o'clock and judging by the bright sunlight filtering through the curtains, she didn't have long. After about five minutes she dragged herself up and to the wardrobe to find something to wear, then attempted to make herself look semi-presentable. She spent a good ten minutes getting the tangles out of her hair, then piled it loosely on top of her head to keep it out of the way. Thanking the powers that be that her makeup was still all here on her dressing table she concealed the dark shadows under her eyes and applied a dash of bright red lipstick, finally feeling able to face the world without revealing her inner turmoil. Or at least, not all of it.
He sat opposite her at the meeting. She could feel his eyes on her, his blue gaze bearing into her as she spoke to Charming and Snow between them. She hoped he wasn't staring at some malfunction, a failure to cover up the evidence of her broken night, smudged lipstick. Feeling self-conscious as heat flushed her face, she leaned her cheek on her hand, something she'd hardly ever done before but right now it served as a barrier from seeing Robin in her peripheral vision as she tried to explain the vendetta the Wicked Witch (or Zelena, as she was now apparently called) had against her. Difficult, seeing as she had given no logical reason for it. But then she herself had tried multiple times to kill Snow for breaking her promise, when it was really her mother's ruthlessness that had killed Daniel. Not the misjudgement of a ten year old.
"Regina? You ok?" She shook the painful thoughts out of her head.
"I'm fine." Her stepdaughter didn't look convinced but let it go as there were more important fish to fry.
As the meeting wore on, plans for the protection of villages were thought up, secret passages to the castle and to safe points determined in case of a siege, and other such schemes, Regina couldn't help thinking about how she was always the less important one. Even now, when Snow was trying to help her get over Henry and redeem herself, when she was in a situation where her people were endangered Regina got put on the side for later. It really got her down, especially now with the loss of her son, the only one who truly believed in her of late. And dammit, Robin was looking at her again. She wished he'd stop. It made her uncomfortable, knowing there was someone in this room who'd seen her at the lowest point she ever remembered being in, and therefore had leverage against her. But if she were completely honest she'd rather it was him than someone whose life she'd ruined, put on hold, for 28 years.