Keeping up with the Blobshrooms

game show pt 2 trivia

"so..." tyler said walking onto the stage, he was wearing a purple chetta print suit and a pink fedora plus complementary fanny pack. "i am the host of this," he paused and made a face. "smorgezberg? um, sure and our first criteria is trivia so i'm going to be asking several questions all about me because i'm queen." he flaunted to the middle of the stage and did a spin.

"let's begin y'all.""

"i can't even." dan said into shrek's ear.

"i know right he's acting like HE' S the star here. ugh peasants trying to steal my crown." shrek sniggered.

tyler violently snapped around turning to dan and shrek "urm i heard that no talking, that's considered cheating."

"we're on the same team." dan pointed out gesturing between himself and the green mass next to him."

"do you want a fight cuz i can fight. um anyways," he turned back to the crowd, "let the show commence." 

"so," tyler was now standing behind a podium holding a set of oversized cards that presumably had the questions on them. "the first question is," he paused for empathy but nobody really cared and all it drew was a few eye rolls from members of the audience. "the first question is what is my middle name?"

pj buzzed in first, shrek a second after. "UH WHAT YOU JUST CHEATED." shrek yelled at pj throwing a chair at the brown haired boy. it hit pj's thumb and he fell somehow "PJ! NOOoo!" chris shouted he dropped to pj's side and began nursing him. "pj, are you alright?" he asked breathlessly tears falling down his sort of sculpted face into pjs mouth. 

"yes it only hit my thumb."

" oh noooo, my dear, i'm sorry has come to this. i never thought this would happen so soon. like i was expecting cuz like you can barely walk and stuff but like i figured it would be next week. pj, i can't live without you," pj interrupted chris, "it hit my thumb chris i'll be fi-" 

"shh i know, i know," chris put a finger to pjs lips, "my love, save your breath, you're air is running short, i can hear it in your voice my dear you're wheezing."

"i'm speaking fine chris, i'm fin-"

"nOOooooO somebody call an ambulance his breathing stopped." 

the audience gasped. pj stood up breaking from chris' loving grasp "NO MY LOVE YOUR LEGS THEY'RE BROKEN, MY LOVE... please." 

pj didn't listen, he grabbed the main mic from tyler. "okay everyone this is bullshit i'm fine, alright look i'm not dead,"

"yeT" chris screamed."

"no, no! i' not dying not even close i just got a chair thrown at me r00dly by an ogre. the worst that could have happened would me breaking a nail. and with that i declare a restraining order against shrek."

"uRM I DON'T THINK THAT'LL BE NESSICARY!" shrek yelled.

"oh um, hi i'm a doctor." a man stood up from the audience. it was kermit the frog.

"that no, we established i'm not dead, i'm perfectly fine. my finger hurts and that's al-"

"on my love plea-" chris started but kermit cut him off, "i don't think that will be nessicary crink."

"uh my names chris." 

"no crisis, you musn't speakith or else i will killith thee."

"is that shakespeare?" dan interrupted.

"uh yes, i believe so, my grandma wrote it."

"called it!" dan yelled pumping his fist into the air.

"anyways take me to the hurt boy."  the crowd obeyed the wise frogs words and they held him up as he walked across the group to the stage. "be, please be careful friends this is designer fabric, i believe it was made by my old friends down at walmart." the crowd ohhed and ahhed.

chris ran over to the frog who was now somehow wearing a white doctors coat. he grabbed his webbed hand and tried to lead the slimy fellow over to his boyfriend but kermit broke free of his grasp. "condom,"

"it's chris"

"it doesn't matter please don't grab me or else i'll have to call my accountant." the frog walked away from condom over to pj, "so what's the matter. 

"i want an restrainment order."

"ahh yes," he dug around in his coat pocket and pulled one out. "um sign here." he gestured to a line at the bottom.

"got a pen?" pj asked.

"oh sure." he dug around in his pocket and pulled out a pencil, "is this alright."

"plenty well." he scribbled his name across the bottom.

"pj...." chris whispered.

"you too shrek." 

"okay." shrek began to scoot past dilly speaker and dan to get to pj and the frog.

"oh wait" kermit stopped.

"what?"

"15 yards."

"oh" the ogre took a few long steps back.

"that okay?"

"indeed." kermit nodded. he threw the paper and pencil shrek's way and he tried to catch it but failed and it blew out a window.

"oh well, there goes you restraining order." kermit said calmly. he turned around and started off to his spot in the crowd.

"wait kermit do something!" pj yelled to the frog."

"sorry i don't mess with the wind," he turned to phil and winked "had a risky night with her if ya know where i'm drifting."

"ew what?" speaker and dilly grimaced in unison.

"hey i don't lick and tell."

"but what about miss piggy?" speaker asked.

kermit pulled a george forman grill out of his pocket and a few tips of pink meat and placed the grill on the floor adding few strips of the meat onto the grill.

"speaking of i'm starving."

everyone including the crowd memebers started  at the frog in horror.

he smiled and tossed the meat  into a trash can, don't worry i'm vegan.

"the restraining order." pj reminded.

"oh, um, yeah that's gone. sorry."

"hA!" shrek cakled from the other side of the room.

tyler started gesturing to a stage director and music began to play. "okay y'all that's the end
of the trivia section!"

the audience bagan to clap.

"and the winner is, uh eni minie miny er dan's team."

shrek, dilly, speaker, and dan all began to cheer and shrek started to violently beat on the table.

tyler cut of their celebration and said "well actually shrek conmited an offfence so actually pj's team won.

"pj better thank that frog's ass that he has a restraining order somewhere." shrek whispered to his teammates.

-dilly