Dan and Phil imagines

#3: Dan finds your cuts

A/N: Hello! I have been updating heaps because I really wanted to 'get the ball rolling'. If anyone has any requests just comment with who, your name and what about :)

Warnings:   TRIGGERING contains Self harm, please do NOT read if you think you maybe be triggered + swearing  PS:  Feel free to message me if need be, im always happy to talk.

Your P.O.V   

(flashback to three days ago)

I dragged the balde across me thights as I had hundreds of times, feeling an imediate sense of calmness. I dont know what about it is calming, Im literally making myself bleed, but it calms me, makes me feel better, makes me forget about thing for a few seconds, but then it wheres off, so i did it again, and again, slowly becoming addicted to the feeling. i have to do it on my thighs, I cant have Dan, my best friend, see them. If he saw, he would probably never talk to me again. He is all I have and I cant risk loosing him. I clean the fresh cuts and dress them. pulling on my jeans and continuing with my day as if nothing had happened, as if I wasnt slowly dying.

(end of flashback)

I sat on the couch with dan, watching 'Warm bodies' a love story of a zombie and a human, cheesy but cute, its weird but you cant help feeling jelous, you crave the intimacy of a relationship, just having someone there to cuddle with and whisper cute things into each others ears with. You look over to dan, sitting on the opposite side of the small couch, there is hardly another side to the  damn thing.  Dan is perfect, he is everything any girl could ever ask for and more, the perfect guy, all you can do is wish he was yours, but why would anyone be intrested me, I mean, even I hate myself. He notices you staring, he raises his eyebrows and you do the same, mimicking his actions, he pulls a face at you and you copy it, now its a game. He continues to pull faces and you continue to copy him, slowing driving him insane, how long will it take for him to give up, let you win, i suppose he cant, im controlloing the game. All of a sudden you are knocked onto your back, dan had tackled you, with hime now on top of you, holding your hands downhe says "try copy me now" dammit. "Dan, get off, i already won and you know it, give it up"  "oh you think im just gonna let you get away with it that easy, nooo" He starts tickling you, you wriggle and kick but to no avail, he has you pinned down, you cant esacape. "ahaha no dan st- ahaha stop dan please" all of a sudden he stops, hes frozen, staring at something. "dan? you okay?" you start to worry  "what is that...on your leg?" you bend over to look at what he is looking at. "wha-" oh. shit hes seen them, hes seen your cuts, the mutiple red lines on your thighs, and the scars from previous cuts. shit shit shit shit. 

Dans P.O.V

"what are those...on your leg?"  they were cuts, he had seen them before on his fans, but he never thought his best friend, y/n, could ever do that to herself. How have i been so blind, how have i not noticed them before. "y/n why, why the hell would you do this to yourself?"  silence, she looks down, a single tear running down her face. "im sorry"  "y/n why?"  it takes a minute for her to answer, "because no one loves me, no one ever could, no one even wants me alive, nobody care, im just a usless waste of space, i deserve this"  she looks up at me, confused. She must have noticed i am crying, she is none of those things, I love her, I care about her, i need her. "why are you crying dan?" instead of answering her question, I lean in slowly, im not thinking right now but i know that i love her and i know that i want to be there for her and be with her, and this is the best way to show her. I kiss her, she slowly starts to kiss me back, she is unsure. i pull away and look into her deeply sad looking eyes, she looks into mine. "y/n, i truly love you, I need you, you are the most important person in the world to me, i couldnt live without you, please just, talk to me" she stares at me, bewildered. "dan, I-I love you too"  and with that, i kiss her again. this could be the start, of something great.