Yu-Gi-Oh!

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Characters: Yugi Muto, The Pharaoh Atem

Genre: Fanfiction, In Universe, (probably during the Battle City arc)

Pairings: Puzzleshipping; Yugi x Atem

Warnings: Angst

Authors Notes: Yugi and Atem are really great together and sometimes I wonder how Yugi felt when he knew he was going to have to let him go at some point. For those of you who havent seen Yugioh, the characters are not related, nor the same person despite their similar appearances.

Enjoy.

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Why him? Why me? Why these feelings? And why now?

Yugi's heart clenched as he looked upon the Millennium Puzzle, its design and intricacies bringing back fond memories, but fond memories werent what he needed right now.

When he saw the pharaoh, a feeling coursed through him like no other. Pride, happiness, warmth, sheer joy, accomplishment. The list of positives could go on forever, but now that Yugi was sitting here thinking about things, that wasnt exactly a good thing.

A sharp piercing feeling stabbed through his chest, making him gasp. He loved Atem, loved the pharaoh, loved the ghost of the Millennium Puzzle. But that was wrong.

How could he let his feelings escalate for someone he couldnt have? Why didnt he like Anzu? He had used to think he was in love with her, but that turned out just to be a childish crush.

Not only was Atem a spirit, but he was one of a world Yugi couldnt fathom. A world from thousands of years before now, an Egyptian pharaoh at that.

He knew that someday, and probably soon, he'd have to say goodbye.

A tear escaped his long lashes, dripping down onto the puzzle. The boy wiped it off, running his fingers once again over the puzzle. Then, he felt a presence behind him.

"Mou hitori bo boku..." Yugi said without turning to the spirit, he needed to make sure he was composed before facing him.

"Aibou, is there something wrong?" as always Atem saw right through him.

"No, nothings wrong, thank you." He reassured Atem, turning to him with a bright but slightly bittersweet smile. He knew that the pharaoh wouldn't buy it, but it was more to convince himself than anything else.

"If you say so. You can talk to me about anything, Yugi." The spirit said, casting a regret filled glance before fading back into the puzzle. Yugi had tried his best to look optimistic, but he couldnt.

He hugged the puzzle to him, a couple more tears falling before he lied himself in bed. Maybe after a night's sleep he could get this whole thing out of his mind.

When he closed his eyes, thoughts of his other flooded over him, and he found it a little harder to sleep. And just when he thought he had drifted off, he opened his eyes to find himself in his soul room.

They toys that were scattered on the floor around him always provided him with a nostalgic, happy feeling. He was going to miss this place too when Atem left, but not nearly as much as the pharaoh himself. He'd gladly give up his soul room if it meant that Atem could stay.

He sat down, rolling a small car as he plagued over what to do. Then there was a light knock. Yugi looked up to find the man in question standing at the doorway into his soul room.

"Aibou." He called to Yugi who hadnt moved since making eye contact. Yugi now cast his gaze downward, he wished that Atem wasnt so nice, that he could hate him, but he couldnt.

"Can I come in?" He asked, staying by the door. He knew when Yugi needed space, although he couldnt quite tell what the problem was this time, Yugi was usually fairly easy to read.

Yugi shook his head, he couldnt bring himself to speak.

"Are you sur-"

"I said no!" The boy yelled, taking the spirit by surprise.

The room went quiet, and when Yugi lifted his head, Atem was gone. The doorway was empty, and there wasnt a trace of him left. Panic swept through him as he bolted upwards.
"Atem?" He called out, but there was no response.

"Mou H-hitori no boku?" He stepped forward, before running to the door, looking out it and into the hallway. He then looked up at his spirits soul room door.

He opened the door, taking in the maze around him that had once again changed shape. It wouldn't take him long to find Atem though, he had gotten used to this.

He rushed into the maze, looking for the door. He had feared Atem's disappearance, and although he knew that the spirit wasnt gone for good right now, the shock of his absence still hurt. And if it hurt this much now, he couldnt imagine the pain when he actually left.

He wanted to see him. He wanted to be with him. Just as they had said they wanted to be together forever. Yugi wished he could go back to that time, a time when they thought that they would never be without each other. Before he had figured out his past.

"Mou hitori bo boku!" He yelled as he opened the door to where he knew Atem was. But upon the throne in the center of the room sat no one. He trudged to the center of the room, staring at the throne, and fell to his knees in front of it.

He cried against the chair, he never wanted to feel like this. He hadnt asked to feel like this. But at the same time he couldnt imagine feeling any different.

"Aibou?" Atem walked into the room confused. His expression changed when he saw the state that Yugi was in.

"Aibou!" He ran up to Yugi, kneeling next to him, "What happened? Are you hurt? Talk to me!" He could see that Atem was becoming frantic. He looked over Yugi protectively, checking for any sign that he had been hurt. It pained him to know that he could incite this reaction from his other self.

He couldnt bring himself to speak though, so instead he buried his face into the shoulder of his other. He clenched his hands into Atem's shirt, and he felt Atem's arms wrap around his shoulders and neck.

Atem's chest heaved a sigh, and Yugi could both hear and feel it. It affirmed a sort of tangibleness that he knew Atem didnt have, but it eased his mind if only a little.

When he settled down Yugi spoke, "Will you stay with me? At least for now?" His voice cracked and he felt Atem tense, then relax again.

"Of course Aibou." He felt the spirit plant a small reassuring kiss on his forhead.

He might not be here forever, but Yugi was going to revel in the fact that he was here now.

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