Amputate (Gawsten)

4: Training Wheels

"One two, one two, one two, one two . . ." Over and over the annoying therapist repeats my pedals their voice like a clock ticking over and over. This bike does most the work making these chunks of plastic cooperate, I do very, very little. Every once in a while a lousy little attempt of a kick comes from my stub legs.

This exercise isn't bad but simply boring. Really really boring. The first few times it was fun I couldn't believe my legs were moving how they were but now I sadly know it's the machine and e-stem doing all the work.
"You alright?" The therapist questions messing with the machine.

"Yeah I'm fine thanks." I answer even though I'm bored out of my mind.
I stare at the timer counting down, it's the only thing to do.

15 minutes.

"Geoff!" An overly excited voice yells from behind me scaring me half to death.

"Fuck, Otto don't jump up on me like that!" He gently places his hand on my shoulder and just as soon as Otto was an energetic and excited mess he was calm and well. . .just Otto.

"How have you been?" He questions staring at the timer like I am.
"Fine."

I look up to see one his bushy little eyebrows raise. "What! I'm fine!"

"Travis that weird nurse told me you've been slacking on taking your anti-depressants."

Without a major family figure to fend for me Otto was the one who stepped up on the plate he's always been there for me. Always.

"You need them Geoff."

His voice seemed scared now. The same scared that his voice turns to whenever he is forced to talk about what happened to me. It's an awful sound. It's a reminder that I hurt him whilst hurting myself.

All of this Fucking sucks.
No one would disagree if they knew what it was like to be in this situation. But a lot of people don't and probably never will.

"I don't know." I finally reply and to be honest I really didn't know why I stopped. One day I just decided those pills just weren't for me I'm not sure why.

"You have to take them Geoff please."

"Promise me."

"I will." A lie. I mean what else do I have left to loose?

"Anyways, hows Grace?" I try to change the subject as soon as possible I hate to make Otto nervous for me.

"She's great and thinking about you!"

"Uh-huh I bet you never give her the chance to talk about anything else. You really need to worry less about me I'm fine!"

"Perfectly fine with my stub legs!"

Another thing to make his mood decay into that unbearable sad tone "you'll learn to use them Geoff."

And for once I don't believe Otto don't trust his wise words. Because how of course could you teach plastic to walk?

And the time on the timer decreases to 59 seconds and the silence fills our ears. At least silence from our voices. The awful sound of the machine is all that is left.

And soon enough the day comes to an end after too many different types of therapies. Otto leaves as soon as what seems like as fast as he came and again I'm left alone in my room.

To look up at the pollution in the sky and of course. . .to think of the boy I can't seem to get off my mind.

I want to talk to him more than anything but dreams don't seem to come true.

At least never for me.

A/N What do you guys think so far?