𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗮𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 ; lucas zumann

[28] REAL LIFE

LORIE WATCHED LUCAS STUDY on the lawn for a good five minutes before plucking up the courage to walk over. She wasn't wearing any makeup, and her blonde hair was tied in two braids. Lorie was dressed in a plain red t-shirt and jeans, her 'apologising outfit'. It showed she made the effort to dress in nice colours, but wasn't too cutesy that it made her look like she was trying to guilt Lucas into forgiving her. It sounded like bullshit, but it actually worked.

She was a fuck up, and she could admit that now. Lorie felt like a real idiot for letting an ugly emotion like jealousy let her ruin someone's birthday. Thinking that made the girl realise that she really had changed after coming to Yale. In high school, Lorie wouldn't even have noticed that she was being toxic, or if she did she wouldn't have cared. The girl couldn't help but wonder if it was Lucas and Kaya that had made her like that. Made her good.

"Hey Lucas," Lorie said, sitting down on the lawn cross legged in front of him.

He looked up from his books, and gave her an awkward smile before turning back to his work. That was Lucas' version of a dirty look, because he was too nice to tell her to fuck off. Lorie sighed and leaned back on her hands.

"Can we talk?" Lorie asked.

"Can it wait?" Lucas snapped a little. "I have work to do."

Lorie badly wanted to scream that it could wait and run away back to her room but she stood her ground.

"Not really, no," Lorie said. "It's important."

"Fine," Lucas said, shutting his book and looking up at her. "I'm all ears."

"I'm really sorry I fucked Jenny's party, it was rude," Lorie began. "And unsupportive of me. I judged Jenny and her friends before I had the chance to get to know them."

"Is that it?" Lucas asked.

"Yeah."

"Okay, well thanks," he said, and opened his book up again.

"Wait, you're not going to forgive me?" Lorie asked, shocked.

"No, Lorie, I'm not," Lucas scowled. "Do you just expect me let you off like that?"

"Is this about the virgin thing," Lorie whispered. "In my defence, I was very drunk."

"No, Lorie, this isn't about me," he said, suddenly getting angry. "It's about you."

"Are you really not forgiving me?"

"You know what, Lorie, you're a very selfish person," Lucas told her, picking up his books. "And no I'm not forgiving you."

"Wait, Lucas I'm sorry," she said, a tear rolling down her cheek.

"Sorry for what?" Lucas asked. "You know, I used to think you were so amazing. That you were such a mystery but you know what, Lorie? You're not. I know exactly who you are."

"And who exactly is that," she asked quietly.

"A spoiled, selfish, confusing girl who doesn't care about the people who care about her," Lucas shook his head. She'd never seen him like this before. "The people that love her."

Love her? It took Lorie a second to register what he was insinuating, but by then the boy was already leaving, and didn't look back. Lorie breathed heavily, reaching around in her pocket for cigarettes. She'd left them in her room, but didn't want to face Kaya so she went and sat on a bench and wiped her eyes that were a dam full tears ready to burst.

The worst part was, Lucas was exactly right. Lorie was selfish, and she didn't think about his feelings all those times. She wished she could run back in the rain to where she'd left him on that fire escape and keep him company until the rain passed.

***

"Get your act together, Lorelei," the girl told her reflection as she straightened her hair in the mirror.

If Lucas wasn't going to forgive her, that was fine. She was just going to crash the nearest party to distract herself and hopefully after she could figure out a plan to get Lucas back. She was wearing her pair of blue fishnets, some lace up boots, a black dress with her loose hair topped by a headband that had silver stars and of course, shaggy coat. Lorie's piercing blue eyes were adorned with dark eyeshadow and blue eyeliner underneath her eyes. Her lips were painted with red lipstick.

Lorie felt a hand tap her shoulder and turned around to see Nick King. He smiled at her and she smiled back.

"What's up?" She asked.

"Nothing, I just saw you and wondered where you were going," he said.

"A party, any party," Lorie said. "Join me if you like, I'd rather not be alone."

"Sure, what the hell," Nick smiled again. "Just as long as they don't play never have I ever with shots again."

"Don't fucking remind me," Lorie laughed, feeling a little better.

***

It was University, so it didn't take Lorie and Nick long to find a fully functioning party. Lorie kept thinking about Lucas, so when some guy offered her magic mushrooms she was totally in. The music was great, and Lorie felt in her element. She and Nick danced for so long, laughing their heads off for no particular reason. They were both as high as kites.

Lorie's feet aches and her head was spinning in a good way. The girl threw her head back and shut her eyes, letting her shiny hair swish back and forth.

"I did a bad thing," she told Nick as they were dancing.

He didn't seem to hear, but that was alright. Everything was shaking and suddenly the music wasn't good. It was bad and it was closing in on her. Her mind was playing tricks on her, and suddenly when she looked up she saw Lucas instead of Nick. Then she reached up to kiss him. He kissed back at first, then pushed away.

"No, Lorie," he said, and his face went back to normal. "You don't want me, you're tripping."

She'd realised he was Nick now and nodded, then she looked over at a girl who was staring at them and realised Kaya was at the party. Kaya had seen.

"No!" Lorie shouted over the music.

Kaya turned around and stalked out, and Lorie ran after her.

"Kaya!" She shouted, but the girl didn't turn back. "No no please not her as well."

Nick ran out and found Lorie on the grass outside crying.

"She saw?" He asked, looking worried.

"Yeah," Lorie said. "I do bad things at parties, don't I?"

Nick nodded.