Scar Tissue (camren)

16

Camila was still pretty hesitant with Lauren the last few days, Camila still didn't know if she should let herself trust the girl again or not and Lauren felt.

"Camila?" Lauren said breaking Camila out of her deep thoughts.

"Yeah" Camila said looking at Lauren.

"Do you think we will be together?" Lauren asked hopeful but Camila didn't have a clue.

"If we are meant to be together it'll happen"
Camila said and Lauren shook her head.

"That's bullshit you know" Lauren said and Camila looked at her puzzled.

"What?" Camila asked and Lauren shifted in her seat.

"That saying, is bullshit, people make a choice to be with someone. Love is all about choices. You choose to forgive someone, you choose to be with someone and you choose to work everyday to make it work" Lauren said and Camila thought for a second.

"It's not all a choice Lauren" Camila said but Lauren disagreed completely.

"Yeah it is Camz" Lauren said.

"How?" Camila asked.

"You choose to love someone even if they eat your meals after saying they weren't hungry, you make a choice to let them go in the shower before you knowing that you are the one running late. You make a choice to sacrifice for them, you make a choice to love them so much to put your dreams on hold so they can peruse their own. You make a choice, this love thing fate has no say in it you make a choice everyday" Lauren explained and Camila nibbled on her bottom lip.

"How can you make the choice whether or not to trust them?" Camila asked and Lauren knew it was about Camila not trusting her.

"Is this about us?" Lauren asked and Camila put her head down.

"I just am so angry at you still Lauren" Camila admitted and Lauren sunk in her seat.

"Then let it all out now" Lauren said and Camila nodded.

"The thoughts running marathons in my mind; did you care? You could go days without looking at my direction and not talk to me and you never explained about Ty, I'd see you post pictures and snaps of you and him all the time and it hurt" Camila opened up and Lauren looked away.

"How do you feel now?" Lauren asked and Camila shook her head.

"I feel sick Lauren.... not like the flu, I'm just sick of living a life where I'm always walking on eggshells not sure if I can't trust anyone but myself. I let myself open up to you Laur, and you took it for granted and threw it away, the years of me being able to trust and you threw it away easily" Camila said and Lauren's eyes were filling with tears but she blinked them away.

"I'm so sorry Camila" lauren said running a hand through her hair and Camila nodded.

"I know but Lauren I'm not sure if Sorry is able to fix everything so easily" Camila said and Lauren's heart hurt.

"I'll make it up to you I'm going to prove you can trust me" Lauren said in a panicky tone.

"I hope you can because I don't know how long I can take of not trusting you" Camila said and stood up.

"Where are you going?" Lauren asked and Camila grabbed her keys.

"Normani's" she replied and walked out the door.

Camila pulled up outside Normani's and Normani ran outside and engulfed the girl in a hug.

"Are you okay?" Normani asked and Camila shook her head. The pair walked in to Normani's and Camila explained everything she felt to Normani.

"I'm so sorry Camila" Normani said.

"I guess I just have to wait." Camila said keeping her head down. "I thought she was going to come into my life and it'd be a breeze"

"Camila, people walk into your life and show you all the good things. They make you feel special, loved and happy and they make you forget that it's not permanent and everlasting. When things come crashing down, you're worse than ever before you don't know what or whom to believe, you build your walls stronger and higher and it's hard for the good ones to break them down and you shut everyone out. You realise you are in fact replaceable, and not as special as you thought" Normani said and Camila let the tears fall out of her eyes.

"When she was with Ty I was at my lowest, one day she apparently loved me and the next he was the love of her life, it's strange how easy people's feelings can change and you just have to accept it. Accept the fact you are completely in love with someone who doesn't give a shit whether you are in their life or not and it's the lowest point in your life... I felt stupid" Camila admitted wiping the tears off of her cheeks.

"Do you think she cared?..... when she was with Ty?" Camila asked and Normani frowned.

"Honestly darling no, she would never look for you in the busy halls in fact her eyes would be glued to her phone, she never spoke about how she missed your touch or your lips, she only talked about him." Normani said and Camila was right lauren only cared when it suited her.

Camila went to the bathroom to wash her mascara marks off her face when her phone buzzed, it was lauren.

Incoming FaceTime Lauren x

Camila wiped her eyes and answered.

"Hey" Camila said bluntly.

"Hey I am sorry Camila" lauren said frantically.

"Forget it Lauren" Camila said placing her phone down and she heard Lauren sniffle and her heart ached, the girl on the other line made her soft.

"My mom used to say if you love something set it free" Lauren said and she saw Camila furrow her brows in confusion.

"I personally think that's the opposite of what you should do.... if you love someone or like them or whatever you should fight for them until you physically can fight any longer, you should shout your feelings for them until you can't shout any longer...... you can't sit back and hope that maybe one day it will come back because you shouldn't have something you never fought for" Lauren said and Camila smiled.

"The point of that was?" Camila asked and Lauren smiled at the girl.

"I'm going to fight for you Camila, I'm going to build your trust in me up piece by piece every second of every day" Lauren said and Camila looked at the girl.

"Why?" Camila asked not sure why anyone would fight for her. 

"Because I want to have you, I want you to love me and I want to be yours and I'm going to fight for that" Lauren said and smiled at the girl before hanging up.

Camila smiled and opened the bathroom door and was greeted by Normani who had an uneasy look on her face.

"You're just going to get hurt again you know that?" Normani asked and Camila nodded.

"Maybe but it's Lauren, I find myself drawn to her and I keep trying to fight it because of my past but I'm tired of trying to fight against the good things in my life Mani. Love is messy and it will cause you pain and that's okay because it's the best feeling in the world" Camila explained and Normani smiled.

"You are always going to argue you know that?" Normani asked and Camila nodded.

"Don't worry about Lauren and I arguing.... worry when we don't because that means we've gave up and there's now nothing left to fight for" Camila said and walked out of Normani's house.