Forever and Always: A Bensler Fan Fic {Book 3}

Chapter 17

As the weeks progressed and we got closer to telling the kids about the baby, I started to notice how this pregnancy was closer to the ones I had with the girls, since I haven't been throwing up every five minutes like when I was pregnant with my sons. Elliot was a little disappointed when I brought this up.

"Elliot, maybe this baby is going to surprise us." I sighed.

"I love our kids, I just wish I had another son..." He trailed off, and I frowned.

"I'm sorry that Ethan didn't make it, but I can't control what the gender of our child is. I'm sorry that it makes you upset. Really." I groaned, as I climbed out of bed.

"Liv, I'm sorry!" Elliot exclaimed, and I stopped in front of our door and stared at him.

"You know that if this baby is another girl, it's your fault? I can't control it."

"I love our daughters." He spoke, and I nodded. 

"Yeah, I know you do. I'm gonna go check on the kids. I'm angry and I can't sleep in here right now." I sighed, as I ran my hands through my hair.

"Liv, sleep in here. I'll go check on the kids and crash on the couch." He replied, and I frowned but nodded slowly.

This pregnancy was already taking it's toll on my body, and sleeping on a couch wouldn't help.

I walked back over to the bed and Elliot grabbed his pillow before walking out. I laid on my back and swallowed hard as I stared at the ceiling.

Can we maybe not fight for awhile?

=+=

The next morning I woke up and went down stairs. I had already showered so now all I had to do was wake up Elliot then I was going to head in early to the precinct and see if we got anything over night.

"Elliot, it's a little after five." I sighed, as I started to turn on the lights in the living room.

"Why are you up? I thought you weren't going to go in early?" He yawned, as he climbed off the couch and started to stretch.

"I have to, El. I miss too much work, and I'll be taking time off sooner than we think, because eventually this has to come." I spoke, not wanting to risk the kids hearing that there was going to be another baby.

"Liv-"

"El, please just go shower and spend the morning with the kids. You have till noon, then you have to leave. Make it to your exam on time, please." I spoke, and my husband nodded slowly.

"Oh crap. I forgot about that today. I should probably cram." He sighed, and I was so annoyed in this moment.

"Okay, go shower and head into the precinct. I'll get the kids around and make sure that Maureen is up in time to head off to her shoot. Just don't worry about everything here." I spoke, and he frowned.

"I can still do what you need me to."

"No, just go."

I need him to be in many different places at the same time, but he can't. We both need to focus on what we need to, and he needs to focus on going and passing his exam. I guess I need to focus on the kids for awhile this morning.

I was making breakfast for Elliot before he left, and when he came down I felt him examining my expression.

"Are you tired and annoyed? Or annoyed because you are tired?" He asked, and I shrugged.

"I'm just really tired."

"Go sleep then." He replied, as I put his scrambled eggs onto his plate.

"No, I have stuff to do Elliot."

"Yeah." He spoke plainly, before walking over and pouring coffee into a mug.

I sat his plate down before heading out into the living room.

"You are annoyed of me right?" Elliot asked, and I sighed as I turned around to face him.

"I'm annoyed of everything at the moment. I'm just still confused about how you could be upset about our baby. You've wanted another one since I had Quinn, but now that I'm pregnant again, you are upset because you might be getting another daughter. I just can't understand how you can think like that. Now, I'm going to wake up the kids."

"Pregnant?" Maureen asked, and I turned around and saw her standing on the landing, and staring at me.

"Ask your Dad." I sighed, before walking past her.

=+=

By the time I was supposed to get into work, I was exhausted.

I was dead on my feet and I hadn't even did much since I woke up.

I walked into my office and as usual Amanda was right behind me. I sat at my desk and peeled my jacket off and sat it on my desk, before working my hair back into a clip.

"You aren't looking so good, Liv." Amanda frowned.

"I don't feel good. I'm so tired and I feel like it's so hot in here." I breathed, as I ran my hands over the back of my neck.

"Liv, do you have a fever?" Amanda asked, and I shook my head as I stood.

"No, I'm fine. I'm gonna go wash my face. I need cold water." I spoke, and she nodded slowly. She started to follow me out of my office.

She followed to the bathroom and I looked at her.

"Just don't follow me in. I'm fine. I just need to cool down." I spoke. She nodded as she leaned against the wall outside the door.

I walked in and I went to the middle sink. I leaned against it as I let the cold water run for a few moments. I wanted it as cold as possible.

I leaned forward and ran my hands over my face with the cold water. I shook slightly, but I was still so damn hot.

I took a few slow breaths before turning and getting ready to walk out, but instead I became dizzy, and my steps got confused.

I started to stumble and I fell to the ground, a painful moan leaving my mouth as it happened.

"Liv!" Amanda exclaimed, since she heard me fall from outside the door. 

"Get Elliot, please." I choked out, as my breathing got sharper.

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