Bellamy Blake | Imagines & Preferences

Stranger.

Bellamy sits beside a tree, attempting to read a book in the shade of  the green leaves. But his mind is elsewhere. Now and then he finds  himself thinking about you and what could have been.

He remembers your smile whenever you saw him, how happy you were, and he thinks about how he hasn't seen you smile in so long.

The  fact that there was no real closure didn't help either. It felt as  though you were both holding on to something that isn't there but  neither of you could let go.

Well, maybe I don't want closure. He thinks to himself. It's true that you can be addicted to a certain kind of sadness.
Maybe  him holding onto you and the memories that no longer exist, is his  addiction - he knows it's bad for him but he just can't quit.

After all, nothing here on the ground lasts forever. Why did he think your relationship would be an exception?

It's odd because Bellamy knows - he knows - that you're not meant to be together.
How can you both still be friends when you act like he never existed in the first place?
Why does he deserve to be cut off?

Bellamy feels himself becoming angry, wondering why he was never good enough for you.

Placing  his book down, he leans back against the tree before seeing you walk  past. Fate. It's fate, he needs to talk to you now or he'll never do it.  He'll never get closure.

Standing up, he calls to you. "Y/N."

You  turn around instantly, feeling your heart sink when you see him  marching towards you. Luckily most people are in the dropship eating  breakfast. No one has to see what's about to happen.

"Bellamy."  You reply, gritting the name through your teeth. You can't look at him.  You can't - if you do, you're afraid you'll take back everything, you'll  forget why you ended it with him.

"Look at me." He orders, watching you intensely, "I'm right here, just look at me."

"No." You mutter, keeping your head down.

"I  exist. I still exist." He begins to become even more angry as the  seconds pass, "I'm still here and I always will be. And you can't make  it out like it never happened and that we were nothing."

"Bellamy-"

"I  don't need you - I really don't, Y/N." He admits, "But you treat me  like... a stranger and I hate it." Bellamy furrows his eyebrows, feeling  his heart beating rapidly as he gets everything off of his chest. He  feels his heart ache.
"If you do that, then everything we went  through was for nothing. I was prepared to be there for you, Y/N, I  respect you as a person. I still think you're incredible. I think about  us all the time. But I can't handle this. Now you're just somebody that I  used to know."

"You think I don't think about us?" You  reply, "Bellamy, now and then I think of all the times you screwed me  over. All the times that you messed up and had me believing that I was to blame." You admit, telling your side of the breakup and relationship.

He  watches you with wide eyes, only now realising how he sometimes acted  this way around you. "I'm sorry for pushing my problems onto you but I  don't deserve to be treated like I don't exist."

"And I didn't  deserve to be treated like that. I didn't want to live that way anymore,  having to read into everything you ever said to me. I've known you for  so long and you're only now telling me how you truly feel." You tell him, placing a hand onto his warm cheek.

"Y/N,  I'm sorry. For everything. And I'm sorry that it didn't work out  between us." He sighs, "I just needed closure. I think we both needed  that."

You nod, taking your hand away from his face. "I'm  sorry too. I'm sorry that I hurt you more than I needed to. I didn't  want to make this whole thing so... messy." You admit, letting out a sigh  of your own.

"Y/N, I don't want to be a stranger in your life." Bellamy confesses, shaking his head as he looks at you.

"I know." You reply, giving him a small and sad smile, "We don't have to be. But I need time, Bell."

With a single nod, Bellamy understands. You need space and time. So does he.

You  both share a look, a silent but knowing look, before you both embrace  one another. It's warm and gentle, almost like a goodbye hug.

But you know it's not goodbye, it never will be goodbye. Not now, not ever. He'll always be apart of you.
Another  look is shared before you both walk in your seperate direction, neither  one happier but both with a sense of hope. Maybe you've both finally  let go.

With his shoulders feeling lighter and his head more in focus, Bellamy begins to read his book by the shade of the tree.

***

author: octavia-marie-blake