The Avengers: Texters, Assemble!

~Cat Trouble Part 2~

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Steve: Okay, this is going to sound totally crazy

Clint: Your cat talks too?

Natasha: wait yours too?

Tony: wtf i thought i was just drunk

Thor: I THOUGHT SHWOPTART WAS SPECIAL

Bruce: You were, Tony, but yes, all of your cats can talk.

Bucky: Where exactly did you find talking cats

Bruce: I genetically enhanced them to be able to talk.

Pietro:ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Loki: Foolish Midgardians--- you did not even suspect that Banner had done this.

Tony: and u did

Loki: Of course. Jade is now fluent in several languages and can even read coding.

Bruce: Hey hey hey that's abuse of an innocent animal, you can't use her like a weapon against us.

Loki: I don't see how Jade being innocent of stupidity is abuse.

Besides, I never said I was using her. She has a mind of her own.

Wanda: But why though, why make them talk?

Bruce: I wanted to try something new. Not only can they speak, read, and think just as well as most humans, they were also tests for a bunch of enhancements. I'm sure you've noticed Colby turn very large and green at least once.

Steve: So I shouldn't be worried if Star regularly hums the national anthem or my theme song?

Bruce: Nope.

Natasha: And if Clary pulls books off of shelves and reads them?

Bruce: Nope.

Clint: If Artemis ships Gale and Katniss can I get a refund

Bruce: No.

Tony: what if troy really likes scotch

Bruce: That's really bad and you should never let your cat drink alcohol, they can get alcohol poisoning very easily.

Tony: crap

Thor: VERILY, I AM SADDENED BY THE NEWS THAT SHWOPTART IS NOT AS UNIQUE AS I ONCE THOUGHT, BUT IT STILL CAUSES ME STRIFE THAT SHE LIFTS MJOLNIR WITH EASE

Bruce: Shwoptart is worthy.

Wanda: What if Ruby sneezes red smoke

Pietro: orifdogrunsfasterthansonic

Bruce: No concerns with either of those.

Bucky, any concerns?

Bucky: idk dude Winter's just so innocent

Tony: yeah except for the fact that she keeps trying to kill me in my sleep

Bucky: I know nothing about that

Bruce: I don't think Winter's the only one trying to do that, Tony.

Steve: Well, that answers our questions, I guess. Thanks, Bruce!

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Bruce: Hey, Vision? I happened to come across a stray kitten the other day and was wondering if you'd like to adopt him?

Vision: I am not very good with mammalian lifeforms

Bruce: Come on, at least give him a chance. I dropped him off in your room. Give it a try, Vision.

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~~~

Five minutes later

~~~

Vision: I will keep the cat, Doctor Banner.

Bruce: Oh, that's great news! Have you decided on a name yet?

Vision: Well, he told me his name was Paprika, so that is what I will call him.

Bruce: Awesome, that's a great name. Well, I'm glad you changed your mind!

Vision: Doctor Banner, may I ask a question?

Bruce: Fire away.

Vision: Is it abnormal for a feline to shoot yellow laser beams?

Bruce: Nope, totally normal.

Vision: Oh. Alright. Thank you, again, Doctor.

Bruce: No problem, Vision. Enjoy the cat.

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~~~

VISION NEVER GOT A CAT 

I FREAKED WHEN I REALIZED

VISION NOW HAS A CAT

STAY TUNED FOR A POSSIBLE CATVENGERS CHAPTER SOON

~~~