Accepted

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I am treated differently.
I am not accepted.

Yeah i notice how you spend more time with them.. how you take them to exciting places, and leave me out.

How you punish them less, and treat them nicely. When you shove my head into the floor and expect the 100% from me.

And I do it, i re-do it a 100 times if i have to.. but I never am enough for you. Its never good enough.

It's always
"why can't you be more like your other siblings"

"Why can't you do anything right?"

"You're so lazy"

"A jerk to everyone"

"A psychopath "

"We are happier without you"

I'm never enough.. am I? You fucken hate me, because I'm not your child.. is that it?

But I'm also confused when you do nice things.. but i think its because you realize, what other people are now seeing.

"Why don't you do anything right, i do all these nice for you and you don't appreciate it."

I never asked for you to do nice things for me.. i just wanted to be accepted.

I want.. my parents to actually love me.. and care. But instead I'm stuck with you! You don't appreciate what i do for you! You're fucking using me.. and i care about you.. so i let you hurt me.. it seems I'm just the idiot here..

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