Why?
Why AGAIN?
I don't understand why I'm stuck here everyday
Pass the fuck out SOMETIMES in the middle of that day in class for only five minutes
Just completely pass the fuck out
No sleepiness
Just someone coming up behind me with a frying pan and swingin'
I only sleep for a second
And then I take forever to fall asleep at night
Rolling around
Mind in a racing car going so, so, so fast down the speed way
...on fire
Then I fall asleep
And then I get to REM....
God dammit
Every single times
It's some fucked up dream some horrible nightmare
And
YET A-FUCKING-GAIN
I'm rolling around
Unable to wake up
Trying to will myself awake and I can't get out
I physically feel like I'm being held down and I can't fight them off
I hate this
It's these themes over and over again
It's so scary
And every single time
I'm at by 2-3
After going down at around 11-12
But tonight?
Oh no
This was new
This was different
This defied all laws
Yet it still happened
My head is full of the laws and rules and my dreams always follow
Always.
But tonight?
My head said, "hmm... what can do today to fuck her up?"
That shit... that was bad
I woke and my bed was soaked in sweat
Fucking. Soaked.
Dude head to toe and I mean it
What the hell
And my sheets were everywhere
Comforter on the floor
One pillow on the floor at the FOOT of the bed
And one on the side
I was all twisted
The bedsheet wrapped around like some sort of boa constrictor in the middle of it hunt
And me?
Balling my eyes out
Why did I wake up?
My own sobs and screams woke me up
But get this
Apparently I feel so bad and guilty for waking people up with my sleep tendencies in the past, that I now do my sobs and screams silently
I still do them but I hold it as much as possible
In my fucking sleep
Let me repeat
In my fucking sleep I shut the fuck up because my head has learned I will be woken if it doesn't keep me quiet, because then it's assault on me ends for the night.
I refuse to go back to sleep no matter how tired I will literally slap myself to stay awake
People have told my that in bed I do everything I just listed to the t and apparently more I can't remember right now
But tonight was new...
I'm so scared for tomorrow
YOU ARE READING
Vents : In A Book.
Non-FictionIts a book. Full of vents. It probably wont really make much sense but it'll be like quotes or sometimes poems. Whatever mood I am in. Its supposed to help me feel better... Idk why. I'm usually in a bad or sad mood so yeah... But this will be from...
