caden

letter 4

dear caden,

i think today i realized that i'm not writing these letters to get over you, i'm writing them to remember us.

and let me tell you caden, it's working. because today i was sitting on the back porch looking out across the lake, and all my brain could muster was caden, caden, c a d e n.

and i didn't stop myself either. i let my mind wander to that time when we were eleven. you were reading about astrology and i was learning about metaphors so you told me i was a supernova bursting with colors and i smiled and took your pinky in mine.

but dammit caden, you never told me that supernovas were time-ticking bombs waiting to destroy everything in their paths. you didn't tell me that they didn't explode beautifully.

and shit it hurts that i can't be mad at you for that little white lie, because dammit it was the source of all my dreams.

you also forgot to mention that you would be the cause of my explosion, and that i would be the only one in my path to get hurt.

and now bursting stars are the source of all my nightmares, because god fucking dammit caden, you left me alone right when the tsunami of destruction struck.

and yet i'm still sitting here, in this mountain of debris, writing you fucking love letters, and holding on to the memory of us for dear life.

and this is the shit i have to go through because my heart just won't stop loving you.

yours (why? i have no idea),

piper

[dedicated to @stylesstrongx because she's rad and i love her, go read her stuff]