My Scary Mates

Chapter Seven

I'm sorry it's been so long, and that I left you on such a cliffhanger - although, being honest, I guarantee everyone knows where it's going - and I really wish that I could say that I'll be updating more regularly, but I'd be lying.  School is finishing up pretty soon, so that means that, even though I'm in middle school, I have finals coming up.  Tomorrow, actually, I have my Spanish one finals.  In a couple weeks, I have algebra.  And then there's the fact that I have assessments and a really cool field trip coming up next week.  I probably won't update at all, considering I'm leaving at 6 a.m Tuesday morning and not getting back until somewhere around midnight Thursday night - or Friday morning, however you think of it.  So, until school chills a little and I won't be too busy, I won't be updating too often.  But, to make up for it, when I am updating, I'll definitely make up for it.  Anyway, here's the chapter, I'll try to shake things up a bit so it won't be like 'This is going to happen.  And she's going to... And they're going to...'  Instead, you'll be like 'This is totally going to happen.  And she's going to... And they're going to. - Woah!!  I didn't see that happen!'  You probably won't be like that, but anyway...

     Death is so weird.  I understand that no one knows exactly what will happen.  There are those who claim they do, that they've been 'enlightened'.  But they're lying.

     It's not that I don't respect the fact that everyone has their own religions and stuff, but I just don't buy into it.  I mean, I used to.  One of the previous Omega's was very religious.  Every time something happened to her, she'd pray.  If someone said something, she'd recite some quote from the bible.  Word. For. Word.  She always had some sort of comeback that made people seriously doubt what they were doing.  The pack tried to take away her bible and cross, but she just carved crosses on the walls and it seemed like the bible was just an accessory, as she was still able to quote the exact words.  They tried to tape her mouth shut and they filled the carvings in.  She just made a bunch of hand signals and carved the crosses into her body.  

     That had really thrown me in for a loop, as I would never imagine willingly inflicting more pain on myself, but she was what you would call a fanatic.  

     Anyway, she wasn't kept around for long.  By that, I mean she was found dead within a month.

     After she was gone, I tried to pray to her god.  I recited the prayers she said so often it was permanently ingrained in my brain.  I prayed my wishes, my hopes, my fears.  My dreams. 

     I asked her god to kill me sometimes.  He never did.  I asked him to kill them.  I got no response.  I asked him to make it stop.  The beatings got worse.  I asked for some sort of sign.  I got nothing.  

     I eventually gave up.  He's a hoax.  Nothing there.  I know the Moon Goddess is the typical person my kind worships, but it's hard to love and devotedly follow someone who screws you over so much you have to kill yourself to make the lives of those around you better.

     And where did that get me?  In the dark.  I can't see a thing.  There's just black and shadows and this feeling that you're not alone.  If I believed that that woman's god existed, I would think I was in a colder, darker version of Hell then what she had told me about.  

     The darkness wouldn't have normally have bothered me, my room always looks like this.  But my room is familiar.  I know it.  I know my pack.  I know my forest, even if I never got to know my wolf in it.  I had one of the worst lives, but it was mine.  And I wasted it doing something for the good of my pack.

     Why didn't I just run away and hide in the woods forever, where I wouldn't have had to bother anyone with my existence or ever have to torture my mate in knowing that they had a complete and utter failure for a mate.  Maybe they would think I was dead and move on, being happy with someone they chose.  

     My mate will still be able to move on, I'll actually be dead, but still.  I'll just spend forever in... where ever I am.  I don't know.

     I do know, however, that, even though I can handle the dark and the weird feeling that I'm being watched, I think that beeping is going to drive me crazy.

Sorry this chapters kinda short, sucky, and a little out of character for Love.  I haven't gone through and reread the previous chapters and I probably should.  I think I'll end up posting another chapter or two tonight.  The next one, which I will get started on in a second, will have a surprise.  See you again in maybe half an hour - or a few seconds, depending on when you're reading this.

Byeeeeeeeee!