The Omega Lottery

Jimin

     "Are you okay, Jimin?"
     I don't turn at the sound of MJ's soft voice. I know he's worried about me and even feels bad about it. It's not their fault, though. They are just the same as me. It's just...my worst fear seems to be coming true.
      "I'm fine. H-how is Mark?" Mark was moved out of our room recently without telling us why. My head keeps telling me Jungkook did it because...well. But my heart refuses to believe he's lied so much to me. Shoved my hope up so high only to drop them, letting them crash and burn before me.
      MJ shifts uncomfortably on his bed. "I d-don't know. They won't let me see him. I'm his brother! I don't know what's going on." True worry shows in his eyes.
      I move to sit beside him and grab his hand. "M-maybe he's with..." I can't say it.
     I only found out a few days ago about their arrangement. I tried to get Jungkook to talk to me about it, about his lies but he simply shut me out and stopped coming to me. More than anything, his silence shows me the truth more than any words he could say.
      No wonder he pushed me away when I practically threw myself at him. He already has someone. Why would someone so perfect what someone like me? I thought maybe he loved me like I loved him but...it was all fake. A fake love. I'm nothing to him.
      I was willing to give him everything. He was my everything. Why. Why did he make me fall for him? Why did he show me so much kindness and affection for it to only end like this?
      "Just so you know...Mark didn't want to take him from you. He wasn't given a choice, you know. None of us are." He sighs, resting his head on my shoulder.
     I blink back tears and force a smile. I have to pretend to be strong even when it hurts so bad. It's the only thing I can do. I can't let this break and tear me apart. Drown me in my pain. Being what I am, I don't have that luxury.
      "Mark likes someone else." He mumbles.
      I glance down at him, surprised. "What?"
     "There was another alpha at our last commune in the other city. His name was Jackson. Mark practically worshiped him. Of course it killed him when we were transferred here. I had really hoped that Jackson would come and claim him but we found out he was transferred farther away as well. I don't believe they'll ever see each other again."
      "I'm so sorry. That's horrible."
      He nods. "I lost all illusion for finding love myself, a long time ago. It's just not for us."
     I find my eyes falling back to the window. "I wish we could just leave. I know Hobi didn't make it...but maybe..just maybe we can." My breath catches at my own thoughts. "We can join the humans. Maybe have a chance." I whisper.
      MJ look up at me in shock. "Are you serious? It's dangerous. If we get caught..." He frowns.
      "We really have nothing to lose, right? I've already been rejected twice. There's nothing for me here." I just want a chance. A chance to live and find someone that won't hurt me. Physically or mentally. Emotionally.
     "What is we don't make it?" He worries.
      "One of us will." I vow, looking at him. "If nothing else...one of us has to cross the boundary."
     He nods slowly. "If it comes to that...I want it to be you, Jimin. You deserve this. A chance. I'll help you, okay?" He smiles and hugs me.
     I release the tears I've held for days and just cry. Letting my friend comfort me. The thought of never seeing Jungkook again hurts as much as I know it's a good thing. It'll make the pain less when he mated with Mark. This is necessary for me.
    

     I turn and walk the opposite direction as soon as I spot Jungkook. Of course he's walking with Mark. Talking. Probably planning. I suck in a sharp breath and duck into the bathing unit. My eyes running over the clean white surfaces. Etching everything into my memory.
     I'll miss Jin and Hoseok so much but they have their own lives now. Everything is going so well for them. They don't have time for me anymore. I don't blame them, though. They have their own issues. This is the best way I can resolve mine. I can make it. I know I can. I also will prepare much better than Hoseok did.
      As soon as Jungkook and Mark diseappear around the corner, I run to his office and open the door. A pang in my chest as I remember the kisses he gave me in this room not too long ago. The kindness and touches...
     Clearing my throat, I stride over to his desk and search for the file I'm looking for. Bingo. I pick up the patrol schedule and slip it into my pocket. No chances of failing. I've failed in everything so far in my life. Not this time.
      I walk back to my room and smile at MJ as he sits anxiously. I toss him the files and his eyes widen. "You actually got it."
      We thoroughly go through the names and times and decide the best time to go. A shift break will happen within a ten minute time range and that's our best chance.
      MJ and I smile at each other. I know he's sad he'll be leaving Mark but we can't chance it, not with him so close to Jungkook.
     As it gets later and later, every little footstep outside the hall fills us with fear. I carefully break the edge of the window and slide the glass pane down to the floor, staying silent.
      As the time looms closer, we take one last look at our prison and climb out the window. As soon as my bare feet hit the cold ground, I smile. This is really happening.
      I take MJ's hand and we run. Avoiding the floodlights and passing cars, we run towards the forest and away from the city. I know the boundary is only a mile or so away. We can make it.
      Goodbye Jungkook. Thank you for giving me the illusion of love even for a little while. It was the best I've felt in my short life. But you can't be my everything. I want to live.