Boy in the Mist (Vampire BoyxBoy)

Kiss

     "Don't do that."
     The silence that followed Isaac's words was slowly killing both of them. Raymond's face contorted into shame, and Isaac's cheeks were hot.
     "Please don't do that," he said again, squeezing Raymond's hands. He knew he should let go, but he didn't want to.
     "I'm sorry. You didn't seem to mind before, so I thought..never mind. I'm sorry." Raymond bit his chapped lip.
     "This is all so fast. Too fast. I mean, has it even been a week? I..I don't know." Isaac felt his bottom lip start to quiver. He wanted Raymond so badly, but he kept telling himself that it was too soon. What if he got over his little crush later? He kept pushing himself away. He didn't want to love Raymond, he told himself. But he did.
     "I know. I'm moving too fast. I hope this doesn't change anything."
     "Stop being so great." Isaac's hands shook, and he felt tears well up in his eyes. "Stop being so polite and understanding and- and..God!" He finally let go of Raymond's hand so he could wipe hot tears away from his cheeks. "I don't want to like you in that way. If I do, then I'll just feel like an idiot. I am an idiot."
     "Please don't cry." Raymond ran his hand up and down Isaac's arm. "It's okay."
     "I'm just..I'm so not used to this."
     "Used to what?" Raymond's voice was soft and soothing.
     "Don't do that again. Don't use that voice with me. I don't want to calm down." Isaac bit his lip. "I'm not used to being so nice. I mean, my mom's great, but she's my mom. She has to be nice to me." Isaac looked down at the sheets, watching his tears drop down onto them. "I've never really had a friend that didn't just want something out of me."
     "I've dealt with that too, Isaac. I get it. That's why I try to be friends with people. I like making people like you happy."
     "I don't think I am happy."
     "That's okay. I know that one day you will be, though."
     "I just don't know what I'm feeling. I'm worried it's lust. I'm worried about being so lonely that I just want someone to be with. That this isn't actual love. I mean, actual love can't happen so fast."
     "I'm lonely too. Who knows what we're feeling? Maybe we just need time."
     "Maybe.." Isaac paused and thought for a long while. Raymond said nothing. "Maybe we need to try again. See if we like it."
     "I don't want to make you do something you don't want to do."
     Isaac inched closer. "I want to try. Just this once. If we hate it, we'll never try again."
     "I'll let you start. Whenever you want, okay?"
     After a few seconds, Isaac leaned in and kissed Raymond. It wasn't a quick smooch like before; it was much more intense than both of them had thought. Before they knew it, both of them were holding onto each other, trying to get as close as possible. Isaac held on tightly to Raymond's fluffy hair, and Raymond had his arms wrapped around him.
     Isaac thought the pause to gasp for air would be the end of it, but Raymond went right back in. Isaac was okay with it. He wanted more.
     They soon rolled over onto their sides, kissing so intensely that time was no longer a thing. "Goodness," Raymond breathed out in between. "This isn't what I thought it would be."
     "Do you love it?"
     "What do you think?"
     Isaac expected Raymond to dive back in after that, but he didn't. He kept breathing heavily, moving his face toward Isaac's neck. He pressed his cold lips near Isaac's throat.
     For a second, Isaac's heart raced and he got a terrified feeling in his stomach, but that all went away when Raymond pulled his mouth away. It was a kiss. Just a kiss. He wouldn't do that without asking, right?
     They were finished. They lay on the blankets, both in a daze. "Have you ever liked a guy before?" Isaac asked. They stayed on their sides, arms wrapped loosely around each other.
     "I've never liked a girl before."
     "Really?"
     "All of the ones I've met were usually wonderful, but I've never felt romantically attached to any of them no matter how much time we spent together. You, on the other hand..I've just never felt so good around anyone before."
     "So no kisses, no sex, nothing? How long has it been?"
     "You were my first kiss in a while. The last time I had sex was a few years ago, and I'm never doing it again. I hate it."
     "Is it just gross?"
     "Well," Raymond paused, a bit uncomfortable, "there's no blood in my body, so I can't really..you get it. Still, some girl found a way to make it work."
     "I suppose it didn't work out well?"
     "Oh, it was so weird. It didn't work remotely." Raymond smiled. "We had a good laugh about it, though."
     "Let's not try it, then. I don't want to make you uncomfortable."
     "At least it's a happy memory. I don't have a lot of those."
     "I think you do need to talk about everything, at some point."
     "I will when I'm ready."
     "..Okay. If you insist."
     "Do you have class tomorrow?"
     "Oh, yeah." Isaac glanced at his almost finished notes. "Class."
     "Did I distract you?"
     "No. I'm almost done. It's not due for a bit."
     "You should get some sleep though."
     Isaac moved even closer to Raymond. "Mm. I will." He got up and turned off the TV, then the bedside lamp. He got back in bed right next to Raymond. They were in the dark.
     "Goodnight, Ray."
     "Goodnight."
     The two touched foreheads and closed their eyes. The room was silent.