Wings

Chapter 12: Braided Beauty

J.P.O.V

"Oh Clary," I breathed, "I missed you like crazy, I thought I would never see you again! Why did you have to leave me! Why did you never call me! I was so frustrated and upset  when you left, and it made me ruin my own life. You can't do that to me again, ever!"

I look down at the blanket waiting for her to say something, anything. I have dreamed of hearing her voice again for the past four years.

"Jace" I look up, and she is staring me directly in the eyes.  "I have someone I'd like you to meet. Jace, this is Wren. Wren, this is Jace, your father"

By The Angel. Alec and Isabelle were right,  Wren, this tiny four year old in front of me is my daughter. Why didn't she tell me! I have missed the first four years of my daughter's life. I can't believe she would do this to me! I would have taken care of them both, loved them both. We could have been happy, living as a family. We maybe could have lived at the Institute for a couple years then maybe get an apartment. Clary and I could have even been married my now. She didn't have to leave me.

The pain and sadness in my chest kept growing and growing, threatening to overwhelm me. Clary had taken her away, and now I am wishing that she would have stayed where ever she had gone to.

I can't forgive her for this.

But I need Clary.

So I have to.

I wish I had never come. I would have been ignorant of this little girl staring up at me, with a thoughtful expression. Then maybe this aching in my chest wouldn't have ever happened.

Then something amazing happened. Wren, this little girl with the red braids, ladybug t-shirt, and black converse, looked at me, and she smiled.

My heart lifted and I felt a million times better. She wasn't afraid of me, she knew me somehow.

"Are you Daddy?" she asked, staring at me, her eyes the same exact color as mine, her gaze half curiosity and half wonder. She looks so innocent, I just can't take it. I can't help but love her.

Without breaking her gaze I say "Yes, Wren, I am Daddy."

I look back at Clary, I know I have to think this over. I need to think about what Wren deserves, Does she deserve a complete, but not happy, family, or two loving, happy parents.

"But, Daddy has to go away for a couple days and think. He'll come back, okay? He also wants to speak to your Mommy." I tell her, but never looking away from Clary.

She set Wren down and I grabbed her hand and led her an earshot away from Wren. Far enough away that she can't hear what we're saying, but near enough that we could watch her. I stopped her and started to pace.  I watch Wren, and I get more and more angry. How dare she leave! How dare she take my only daughter away without ever giving me a choice! Dammit Clary! What on Earth made you take this beautiful little girl away?

I just explode, all the shoved down feelings come back spewing out of my mouth like a volcano.  "How? How could you not tell me? Did you think that I wouldn't want her? Didn't you know me well enough to know that I would have loved Wren! I would never have tried to make you give her up! How I am supposed to feel? Betrayed or elated! Angry or overjoyed? You didn't even allow me to be able to see my own child born! I didn't see her walk for the first time, or hear her first words!  How could you be so cruel!" I look away Clary looks slightly shocked, but completely deflated. She knew this would happen, she knows me too well.

"I couldn't stop thinking about you; when you left. All of my thoughts were 'Why did she have leave me?', 'What did I do wrong', or just plain worrying about you. But all I can think now is, 'why did you leave beautiful and sweet Wren a secret?'. How could you give me heartbreak, I could have been there for you! Protected you! Clary what was so damn hard about telling me!" He yelled at me.

She watched me with such beautiful green eyes, the green eyes that watch Wren take her first steps, the eyes that got to see her for the first time. I can't help but feel the small tingle of relief to finally have my Clary back. I push that down, I have to say mad, she needs to know that what she did to me was not right at all. I glared at her.

"Just so you know, what I said to Wren was true, I want to think about this for a couple days, and don't bother trying to text Isabelle, it won't help the situation. I want to be apart of Wren's life, but I won't be just there for Christmas and Easter, I want to be around. To make up for time I've missed."

I don't know why I said that, but as soon as I said it, I knew it was true.

I let myself stand there for a second, finally allowing myself to look at Clary. Her hair blows in the wind, looking like red silk that had just burst into flames. Her eyes looked darker and a deeper green before. She's retreating I think to myself, but I shake the thought off. She had gotten skinnier, and her face lost all of its innocence, and there were bags under her eyes.

I guess having a kid can do that to you, I woundn't know.

"Okay." I hear her say after I sprint away from her. I couldn't stand seeing her like that.

When I get back to the Institute, I rush up and into my room.

I slam the door behind me and crumple to the floor.

I start to cry.

Something I haven't done in years, and I hate myself even more for doing so. But then I don't care, and I let my emotions overwhelm me.

I cry for the years of my daughter's life that I missed, I cry for the love I lost then regained, I cry because I could see that every time I yelled at Clary, she got more and more distant from me. I cry for myself and the years of being stupid and totally naive of what was to come. Then I just let the tears come until I have none left.

I pick myself up, throw myself onto my bed, and fall asleep.

A/N

Sorry for not updating in forever! I have been super busy with a musical that I am in. (It's Westside Story, just btw), and I just have like no time to update/write when I usually do because I get home super late.

So thoughts/ideas/comments?