JUST . . . TRY

01

Every night I lay in bed thinking of him. The man I thought I loved... but love is an abstract concept after all. He was my first, I thought I would forget it over time , but I think about it quite often especially when the results of that night live on inside of me.

I leave my apartment and stroll over to my 2007 Honda Pilot (my first baby) and climb in easily. I was still early on in my pregnancy I was 4 months and not showing much if at all. I could wear baggy sweatshirts and no one would know.
I had a psychology lecture to head to, I wanted to be a school counselor. Why because I admired them. My high school counselor Ms.Lynnberg is one of the few reason I'm finally ok and truly ok. I wanted to make other kids feel that way and help them through their struggles.
I finally felt like a fully functioning human being. I had my own car that I was paying off slowly but surely, a nice enough apartment with space for me and the little one, a good job as a personal assistant for my kind adopted father, Mr.Matias Onceler who I've been working for about 3 years now but have known since I was adopted by him and his wife Chnythia when 16 .

I got to class early so I was able to get a good seat in the second row waiting for the professor to arrive. When Mr.Grustin arrived I set up my tape recorder so it could record anything I miss while I was replying to my emails for work. I had an email from Mr. Onceler. It said I needed to pick up Mr.Onceler dry cleaning and a healthy lunch for him (his heart was not doing so well in his old age) ,pick up Cynthia's dog from the groomers. Take his Rolls Royce to get detailed. He also wanted me to do payroll for all his staff at his manor. And last but most definitely not least.
No.
No. No . No.
No.
He was returning from his studies abroad and I am now in charge of planning his return party for tomorrow.
Yay... this is exactly what I needed right now stress and aggravation. I wanted to reply back and say can I hire a party planner, but I just said ok and asked if there was a special theme he wanted. To which he said not really but nothing big just a small family and close friends gathering no more than three hundred.

No more than THREE HUNDRED!!! That a small wedding, not a small gathering. A small gathering is fifty or fewer people and fifty is pushing it as it is.

I remember he was a big fan or crimson red and pearl white so that's what I decided to plan the party around . My lecture ended and I headed to babytown in search of a crib. I wanted to be ready even if it came early I still had six months and I didn't know what would happen in the next six months so I wanted to make sure I have everything I needed before things get harder. I found a cute black, white and silver crib it was gorgeous and went with the theme of the nursery. I painted the walls an iridescent white color and the back wall was silver with black stars. I didn't want to know the sex of the baby until it came into the world. I already picked out a car seat thing, a diaper bag, books about babies as well as books to read to the baby, onesies, blankets, a bottle warmer, a breast pump, and all the other random baby things.
When I got home I struggled to put the crib together because of the stupid vague instructions and cursed the whole time trying to build it. After finishing building the crib I called around to find a DJ, entertainment , and a caterer for the party. I managed to finish planning the party by the time I had to pick up Carla (Cynthia's dog) from the groomers. Saying I was planning a party for the prestigious Onceler family went a long way they damn near owned the entire town we lived in and everyone was dying to become connected to them. I dropped Carla off at the house but luckily I didn't run into Cynthia, don't get me wrong, I love Cynthia but I just had so much to do today and for the most part I was avoiding her because I felt like I was lying to her by not telling her I was pregnant.

She always treated me like the daughter she could never have. She rescued me from a diner where I was being sexually harassed by grown men she quit my job for me and once she learned my home life was just as bad she told her husband they would be adopting me. She then threatened my parents with legal action and paid them to leave town and never come near me ever again. Even though I knew Chynthia But he was the apple of her eye and I would never taint that image of him for her. She would never see him the same way if I told her what happened I couldn't bring myself to ruin their relationship.

I hooked the car trailer up to my SUV and loaded the Mr. Oncelers' car onto the trailer then dropped it off at the dealership. Then picked up the flower arrangements, table cloths, the tent, and the things for the gift bags.

I set up the giant tent which took an hour plus and the gardeners helped me roll out the circular tables. I set each table accordingly with the name seating placements, beautiful Red and White Calla Lily centerpieces and silver place mats with red swirl designs and tiny glass figurines of snakes with ruby eyes (the Onceler family crest animal).
I sat at one of the tables and filled the gift bags finishing up my last twenty or so in hopes of being done soon, the sun had already set but lucky the tent I chose had built in lights that turn on automatically when it gets darker.
"Oh Rein you're still here ,the sun has already set" Mr.Onceler asked as he walked up to the table "yes, but I'll be leaving soon I just wanted to make sure everything was fine and ready for tomorrow but I must inform you that I'll have to leave the party a little early I have a doctors appointment" I said trying to sound sad about it because in all reality I was so glad I chose this day for my appointment "oh what a shame Kadence will be sad to see you go he's been asking about you quite a bit sense he last came back from break.
But now that he's finally graduated and is staying for good I thought we should give him a proper welcome back you know?" He explained "but if it is truly necessary your presence will be missed by us all ,you are just a ray of sunshine but before you go could you go check in on Cynthia she's in her study she said she wanted to see you. Well, good night Rein" he said before leaving.

I finished the goody bags and shut the tent flaps tight then made my way to Cynthia's study nervousness oozing from all my pores. I gingerly opened the door pecking my head in " oh Rein just the girl I wanted to see come sit Darling" she said her voice kind but had a certain edge to it that I just couldn't quite put my finger on it.
I sat down on the couch next to her and before I knew it she poked me in my left nipple and I felt like I had just been stabbed " ow what was that for" I quietly screamed getting up from the couch " I'm not done sit back down" She said grabbing my wrist "you just attacked me no " and before I could finish my sentence she poked me in my right nipple but it didn't hurt quite as much "now stand on your right foot " she commanded I compied easily with out losing my balance and quickly fearing she would assult me again " now on the left" I tried but almost feel over but I caught my self.
" Mrs.Onceler what is all this about" I asked tiredness evident in my voice " no questions until I'm done assesing you now smell this" she handed me a cup with some white sauce in it. I took a whiff of it and had to use my hand to stop the throw up from coming out " eww what is this!! Whatever it is expired and needs to be thrown out immediately" I placed it on the desk try to get it as far away from me as possible " honey that's vanilla pudding it doesn't expire until three weeks from now" she said sadly "come sit please i promise I won't do anything this time " she said seeing the weary face I made.
I once again sat next to her still a little concerned. She held my hand in a comforting manner " sorry to having to test you like that but I had my suspicions but I had to definitely confirm them before I made any wild accusation but know I know my suspicions were well within range " she paused taking a deep breath before proceeding.
" You are Pregnant aren't you?" She said more as a statement than a question " You know I can't lie to you, Cynthia. You brought me in off the streets when I was 17. You gave me a great job, you put a roof over my head when not even my own mother would and have been an amazing maternal figure to me. And for all that you deserve the truth and nothing less" I said my voice thoroughly soaked in sadness and vulnerability " Yes I am ... how did you know ?" I finished. 
" you've got all the signs of a Onceler pregnancy.My mother in law did the same to me.The left nipple gets very sore, you can't sand on your left foot due to the ankle being swollen and vanilla pudding becomes the grossest thing on earth. And...on Kade's Christmas break after the winter gala you did what ever you could to stay as far away from this house as possible until he returned to Italy. Also I saw you stumble out of his bedroom on New Years morning... crying" she said sadness taking over her voice.