flipped

sixty-one.

*not proofread

예순하나

     jackson and jaebum on either side of him, hoseok limps into his apartment. and even through the pain, he smiles.

     "do you have any pain relief spray at home?" jaebum asks jackson, as they help hoseok to the couch.

     "yeah, i'll get it." jackson walks to the washroom and gets a spray. they make hoseok lay down on the couch and pull his jeans up, expose his ankle. a certain part of the skin is deep red and jackson sprays at that point. hoseok winces, purses his lips, contains the pain.

     "does it hurt like a lot?" jaebum asks, worried. hoseok doesn't show but he goes through a lot and jaebum is the closest to him, despite jackson being hoseok's roommate.

     "it did then, it's better now." hoseok keeps his hand on jaebum's should, smiles. "also, can we stop worrying about my dumb ankle and celebrate our win?" hoseok smiles, small and it doesn't reach his eyes. he winces a little more as jackson continuous massages his ankle.

     "i know what you're trying to do," jaebum sighs, looks away. "and you know we can't have jimin join our team."

     hoseok looks away, his breath getting slightly heavy. he feels useless. they won because of jimin and the company which wants them believes that jimin is with them. they believe he's the asset. hoseok is not jealous, he respects and appreciates the talent but he hates that being the leader, he couldn't do anything good for his team. and instead someone who's not even their team member does it. and now he hates himself. "we'll tell them." he sighs, looks at jaebum. "we'll tell them that he's not with us and ask for another audition. maybe they'll consider."

     "okay. we will," jaebum agrees, runs his hand through younger's hair. "don't worry about it."

     "i'm sorry, hyung," hoseok mumbles, bites his lip. he's close to breaking down. jaebum knows because hoseok never calls him hyung, except for when he's emotional.

     "hey, it's not your fault, okay?" jaebum holds his face, presses his palms against them in a firm hold. "we're even lucky to have you. do you even know that?" he smiles at the younger. "you are our hero. always have been, always will."

     "but i failed you. all of y―"

     "jung hoseok," he interrupts. "you didn't. you cannot even if you want to okay. i've never seen someone as strong as you. and you better understand that."

     and he breaks down. jaebum is speechless for a moment but then he looks as jackson comes forward to hug hoseok. he says nothing but the firm and comforting home is enough. jaebum smiles, leans to wrap his arms around them both. and maybe though silently, they all cry.

·

     he's mad. mad at jackson, mad at taehyung, mad at himself and the whole fucking world. and maybe that's the reason he's in front of hoseok's and jackson's apartment. he wants the truth, the reason.

     his hands constantly bans  at the door and don't stop until jaebum comes and opens it, eyes red and swollen.

     "what the hell kook?" hoseok frowns as he sees jungkook push past jaebum and into the house. he straight walks to jackson who's sitting beside hoseok.

     "you fucking asshole!" he yells and lunges towards him. hands around the collar for his shirt, as he lifts him up the chair. he's more than pissed and jungkook rarely gets this mad. "you ruined him." he pulls at the collar and it's close tearing up.

     jackson holds onto jungkook's hand and looks at those eyes, filled with anger and pain at the same time. he knows what this is about. "i know it doesn't make things right but i'm sorry."

     "yes it doesn't!" he yells, cries and leaves his hold in the older. "you assaulted him and he did nothing because you were his friend. he thought of you as his fucking best friend and you did that to him." jungkook is now crouching down, palms pressed to his face.

     "i loved him. and i was drunk and―," he hiccups. jackson doesn't cry this much but today is being an exception. "and was hurt looking at him love someone else. it hurt and it lead to me hurting him. i can't ever forgive myself for that."

     "he was happy with taehyung and you ruined everything. i don't care about me." jungkook looks up, eyes in rage. "but i would be happy if he was. because that's what you do when you love someone."

     "he wasn't. believe me he wasn't."

     jungkook frowns. "what?"

     "true taehyung loved him and jimin was so fucking close to it. but taehyung was over possessive. jimin was internally suffocated. he didn't admit but i saw it." jackson says, wipes his face with the back of his hand.

     "does it even matter now? jimin lost everything then and―"

     "it matters. the past doesn't but future does." jackson slightly smiles. "jimin would never forgive me and believe me i tried. i've slept at his doorstep for days. he didn't," he's smiling bitter now. "and it's fair enough for what i did." he sighs, takes a deep breath and continues, "but what i was trying to say is that you can make it better. be a good boyfriend. neither too possessive nor too suffocating. be there for him when he needs. teach him how to love. show him love is real but you just need the right person. and that person being you."

     "i can't. he won't let me," he smiles, sour. "he doesn't love me."

     "oh believe me he does. he's just scared to admit. y'know the day i came to your house drunk and made you tell the truth to jimin?" jackson raises a brow.

     "of course. it all went down after that day. it was all going well―"

     "i'm sorry and that's not the point right now." jackson interrupts. "i saw him, saw the hurt and i swear the way he used to look at taehyung back then was nothing compared to the way he looked at you. you have to know that it's something. something he doesn't want to admit. he loves you. he does. believe me when i say this. i was a failure as a friend but i knew him. very well."

     "i don't know if i can see him right now. he needs time. i do too. he has hurt me too." jungkook admits. although through all of this, jimin has been the victim but jungkook has had his fair amount of suffering and he needs healing.

     he needs to heal himself before being capable of healing someone else.

❝some times you don't get forgiven for your mistakes and it's alright. it teaches you about life and helps you grow.❞