just not quite together

not suspicious at all.

Sherlock was in a lot of trouble. As good as yesterday had went, he still had the feeling John would eventually ask about why he said ‘boyfriend’ instead of friend or flat mate. And then there was Olga. Sherlock had told Lestrade he did not want to ask her any questions and had forbidden Lestrade to tell John about the case. Lestrade had not questioned why. Good. Sherlock did not feel like going back to the club, because John had a bigger chance of finding out when Sherlock kept going away. So instead of going, Sherlock called Tina on her mobile phone.

‘did anything happen? Has he found out?

‘no, he is not suspicious at all. However, I did almost mess up.’

‘What happened?’

‘I called him a… name one of my regulars likes me to call him.’

‘I hope it was not the refrigerator-kink client..’

‘Jesus Christ no.. I accidently called him boyfriend..’

‘did he seem confused? ‘

‘not a second. That’s what bothers me. It seems as if he was expecting it.’

‘maybe it’s the best when you just ask him, Sherlock.’

‘alright… ..it seems I have to. Thank you Tina..’

‘that’s okay.’

That had not been helpful at all.  Tina was sure that the best way of doing this without feeling guilt was just asking John what he wanted or thought. Sherlock sighed, and sat down on the couch. He checked the clock. Three hours and fourteen minutes.

Two hours and six minutes. He had to tell John.

One hour and thirty-four minutes. He couldn’t.

Fifteen minutes. Here… we.. go.

‘Sherlock? Are you there? I had an awful day at surgery, don’t ask. Did you finish the toenail-experiment? Because if you didn’t there is no way I’m cleaning th- SHERLOCK!’ Sherlock looked at John, his eyes burning. ‘m’sorry..’ he whispered. John was confused for a moment. ‘so the experiment is still in the freezer. Can yo-‘ ‘It’s not about that.’ Sherlock said, a bit louder now. ‘about what is it then?’ John said in a doctoresque voice. Sherlock sighed. After he would ask it, John would start to ask questions. John would not like him anymore after he would hear about the job. ‘why.. ..did you. .think it was okay?’ Sherlock asked. John somehow knew what he meant. ‘I just thought you misspoke.. ..things can go wrong, even in such a brain as yours.’ John said, giving Sherlock a soft smile. ‘so you’re not.. angry?’ Sherlock asked, eyes full of hope. ‘of course not..’ John was looked so.. fond of Sherlock that it made Sherlock feel guilty. Not only because of that. Also because the longer John kept believing and accepting the harder it would be if John would find out the truth.

‘so how did it go?’

‘horrible. I asked him.. but he kept believing me and..’

‘you have to tell him.’

‘I know…’