me, essentially

this one's really gay

let me just-

you make me wanna be reckless

I've always been so cautious

but

I don't know

you're like

addicting

I get this fucking rush of feelings every time I see you, it's like

happiness-protectiveness-sunshine and my mind's just

soft

for once

but at the same time you amplify everything and make it better and I don't even know how you manage that, god, and sometimes you look at me and there's this stupid spark in your eyes and I want to just hold you and keep you safe and my mind's going 'mine, mine, mine' 

and I mean, I don't know

you've seen me when I'm vulnerable and I don't let many people in like that because that's terrifying

it's so scary to open up

and I'm still hiding things because that's what I do, you know? I hide (and she was right when we fought and she said I run from everything, because I do run from everything, but she doesn't read this anyways)

I run from everything

I don't want to run

I want to throw caution to the wind and sneak behind our parents' backs and rebel and fight the fucking world and get us some shit apartment and a dog and we can get the fuck out of here

we'd be free