The autumn leaves crunched underneath my boots as the moonlight was the only light in the tree filled street. All the windows and lights were off in the houses. Perfect. My bag was heavy but that didn't matter.
A car stopped on the pavement next to me and some kids opened the windows. I knew who they were, the most popular kids in school. Seth, Skylar, Amelia, Jack, Josh. I had remembered their names.
"Hey its that Kai girl!" I stopped in my tracks, ignoring them. "Aww where's your mummy?" They laughed. "You really still think that I need my mum for everything? I'm surprised yours hasn't come back from buying that pack of smokes yet." I replied to them.
Those guys used to be my best friends, they knew all my secrets. When we stopped being friends, they told the whole school my secrets and spread rumors about me. That's probably why I get bullied constantly and I don't have friends.
"Kaaaaiiii!! Why don't you do us a favour and kill yourself already?" That didn't affect me anymore. I know I'm slightly insane that I don't get sad by bullies. They drove off, revving the engine and yelling insults as they turned the corner and disappeared out of my sight.
Why am I used to this? I don't know. I've been dealing with this since I was seven. That was ten years ago. I'm seventeen and still the same... Probably because my parents are dead beats who never come home, busy partying and when they come home their stupidly drunk and yell at me. Basically I'm abused verbally, physically and bullied wherever I go. Sure this doesn't help my depression and the cuts get deeper each day but I've given up. I don't care anymore.
Orange and brown leaves littered from the trees, into the streets. It was calming. One fell into my scarf and I picked it up, looked at the beautiful pattern of greens, reds, browns. It was mesmerising. I kept observing the crunchy leaf in my hand as Welcome to the Black Parade played in my ears, humming along and observing the neighborhood that I was walking down.
If my parents drove past I'd be fucked.
I looked back down at the leaf as it easily gave way and crumpled under the weight of my hand, the pieces crunching and breaking as it turned into a sort of dust in my hand. "You're about as fragile as me." I smiled and held the mess up to my face. "I'll let you be free, something I'll never get." I blew into my hand and it flew out, gracefully flying up and pieces going in different places, dusting the air.
I pulled out a cigarette from the pack in my pocket, and slid the lighter up from my sleeve. I stopped to light it, the amber glow of the fire lighting it and glowing my hand and face. I blew out the flame and put it back in my pocket.
I inhaled the toxic smoke, forgetting about my troubles as I walked. I exhaled the thick smoke, tumbling from my lips as I watched it go up and disappear in the air. "Sorry environment." I whispered as I looked up through the trees into the stars.
As I walked, I reached an old field of grass that faded into a forest, I found myself walking towards it.
I walked through on a path. I remembered this path, running through when I was little, when nothing mattered. When I was happy.
I stopped in my tracks as I reached it.
A small treehouse built into a massive tree, a rope ladder dangling down. I walked towards the rotting wood and climbed up.
I walked into the little wooden door frame and sat down, lighting the little gas lamp with the box of matches we stole.
I took another drag of the cigarette before putting it out on the bottom of my shoe. I was slowly killing myself with it but I didn't care. I was quite fond of death now, I'm not afraid of it.
