it all started on a warm summer night, instead of sleeping over at a friends house or getting wasted at a rager that i would never be invited to i was stuck inside my small apartment dreaming of all of the fun things i could do this summer if i had the chance to.
my apartment was packed with college students that my older brother invited over while my parents were out of town for work things and i was stuck on the couch desperately longing for a fresh breath of air and a new pair of boobs that didn't constantly sweat.
although i wish my brother was true to his words and only invited a couple people as he told me he would i was happy to say that i finally had an excuse to get out of the house. i got off the couch for the first time this summer and slipped on my shoes, excited to get away from the noise.
"hey! i'm glad i caught you, i've been looking for you all night." my brothers best friend approached me, his breath reeking of the liquor my mom hid above my refrigerator in the small cabinets. i was definitely way too familiar of the smell but i wasn't afraid to admit it.
not knowing what to say back to this man who was almost but a stranger to me i signaled to him that it was too loud and i couldn't hear, turning on my heel and heading for the door my heart stops when his hand comes in contact with my butt. as he gives it a tiny squeeze i freeze in my tracks remembering the horrifying details of august sixteenth, two-thousand seventeen.
"you look sexy." the man moves in closer to my ear to whisper something so simple yet so terrifying, giving my ass another squeeze, his touch familiar and dirty. by the time i turned around to face him he was walking off.
i could finally exit my apartment. it wasn't as refreshing as i thought it would be for i had tears streaming down my face and a stomach that wouldn't stop churning, feeling his hand touch me inappropriately again was so unpleasant i could feel the throw up in the back of my throat as my stomach continued to roll.
i ran down the many flights of steps not caring that i could easily go back into my apartment and into the bathroom to take care of things quicker. at this point i was convinced it wasn't even an option. i would go back when he's gone.
flying through the main doors of my apartment building i didn't spend any time looking for a trashcan nearby. i couldn't help but puke on the concrete until i finally sank to my knees feeling weak and worthless, the way i often felt around him.
i scooted my back to the front of the building so i could be propped up, crying into my hands as i thought of all of the cruel things i was going to say to my brother when i seen him again. my body was filled with rage yet all i did was sit there powerless.
"that was," an unknown male voice approached me from the side, his voice sounding hesitant. "gross. are you okay?"
"thanks?" i somehow manage to choke out a laugh through my tears and wipe my cheeks with the sleeves of my dress, feeling my cheeks turn red from embarrassment knowing this boy had watched me dramatically come down the steps and burst through the doors only to throw up on the sidewalk and cry right in front of him. the night couldn't get any worse yet i felt as if there was more in store for me. "obviously i'm having the best night of my life."
"i'm guessing you came from that obnoxiously loud party on the third floor?" the boy says right before taking another puff of his cigarette. he was well dressed and tall with very nice light brown hair and a bit of facial hair as well, paired with a very soothing voice. he was ruining his pretty voice with the cigarette in between his fingers, though, and i for some reason felt bad for him. why let such a voice go to waste?
"it wasn't my decision to have an obnoxiously loud party it was my brothers idea and i really had no say in it, so here i am throwing up and crying outside of my apartment building instead of having, oh, so much fun on the inside."
he chuckled, looking down at his feet. "and you're throwing up and crying, why?"
"the fact that i was trapped inside a small apartment with about fifty drunk and dumb college boys should answer your question pretty well if you're smart enough to understand what i'm getting at." i replied, trying not to tear up as i began to think about everything. feeling my heart race and my chest get heavy i tapped my foot on the pavement to calm myself down.
"yeah, boys are fucking trash, if you understand what i'm getting at." he flicked his cigarette onto the ground then stepped on it, soon coming over to sit by me. my heart was now racing for a different reason. "finneas."
"sorry?"
"my name is finneas, and yours?"
we lock eyes. his eyes are blue. "sabrina."
"hurry up finneas i've been waiting for your ass for hours just so you could 'smoke one more time tonight'!" someone yelled from above us, startling me at first, we both looked up to see a girl with faded silver hair sticking her head out of an apartment window yelling down at finneas.
"fuck you it's been five minutes." he yells back after standing up off the ground, not even looking at me once as he starts laughing and heading towards the main entrance.
"i'm giving you three minutes to get back up here before i turn off this movie and go to sleep." the girl yells back once more and slams the window shut.
"oh, uh, do you wanna come up? we're having a 90s movie marathon." he waits a couple seconds before starting again. "if that doesn't convince you then i should probably mention my couch is really comfortable and my apartment doesn't smell like vomit."
"are you sure your girlfriend would be okay with that?" is the first thing that came to my mind so i stupidly blurted it out bringing shock to the boys face.
finneas chuckles and makes a very exaggerated gagging noise afterwards.
"what?" i question.
"that's my sister."
