I'm scared and I'm hurt, because what if the same thing happens that always, inevitably, happens? What if I'm so unbarebly lonely? What if I do throw myself off the ledge this time? What if I do take enough pills this time? Even worse, what if I have to keep on enduring the pain without and reprieve? What if they all ignore me like I know they will, but hope against hope that they won't? What if, what if, what if? How many times am I going to have to ask? Why can't I just
SLEEP?
