We Fell In Love Over Summer - KLANCE

kiss me again

>>Hey, so I think I forgot to mention that I'll be updating this story twice a week. Once Wednesday and once Saturday :) Anyway, enjoy this new chapter!<<

It was one particular hot day when we found ourselves back a the pool. It was full of other people. We waited patiently at the sides for some people to leave. My hands itched to grab hold of yours, but we were in public and I didn't know if you'd want other people to see. We sat there in silence, in the sun, watching children and their parents and friends have fun in the water.

When some of the people went home to grab lunch, you finally grabbed my hand and dragged me to the edge of the pool. I looked at your back and the way your muscles moved under your caramel skin. I had never thought about liking someone's back, but I did like yours a whole lot.

Together, we jumped into the water. I shrieked and you laughed. My hair was wet and stuck to my face. But you were there to wipe it out of my eyes. It was hard not to smile when you smiled. And it was too hard to fight that urge, so I let myself smile.

Your eyes shone in that mischievous way and I knew you were planning something. I also knew that whatever it was, I'd go through with it. Just because it put a smile on your face, I felt like those were worth all the stars in the sky. That's how it always will be. Even if you're gone now, I will still rob the sky of its stars, just to see that smile directed at me again.

- - -

Somewhere in the middle of June, we found ourselves in your backyard. It was one of those rare days where your whole family was gone, doing god knows what.

We had made lemonade and sat in the dry grass. It pricked in my bare legs but you were a good distraction.

"Do you ever think about love?"

The question came out of the blue. It was such a Lance thing to do.

"I think everyone thinks about love," I had answered. Like a fool.

"Yeah. But do you ever think about who to love?"

I had to think about that for a moment. "I think about loving my dad and-" think about loving you, but I couldn't say that.

Then it was your turn to be silent.

"Have you ever loved someone? I mean besides your dad?" Your eyes refused to meet mine.

No. I thought I hadn't loved anyone besides my dad. But I couldn't say that either. Because if it wasn't love, then what did I feel towards you?

So I said, "I don't think so."

"Me neither."

Then it was my turn to ask a question. "How do you know if you love someone?"

I knew you had more experience than me. Being in a big family and all. I figured you must've known more than I did about love.

You shrugged, plucking strands of grass out of the dry ground. My eyes followed the movement. "You feel light and weightless in their presence. Like they lift all the bad thoughts off your chest. You forget about worries, if only temporarily. You feel like you can take on the world, together." At this, you finally looked at me.

I thought about what you said. Did I feel like that when I was with you? I knew I did. But did it mean I loved you liked that? Like I wanted to hold your hands and feel your lips against mine?

"Do you ever think about kissing someone?" you had asked after a long silence.

The summer breeze shuffled the short strands of your hair. Your mother had finally gotten her way and had had your hair cut. I imagined raking my fingers through it.

"Yes. Of course. I am a teenager."

You shrugged at this. "I mean, you could've been ace, or something."

Ace. Asexual. Oh. Sexualities. So that's what you were talking about.

"Who do you imagine kissing?" It was a bold question, even for you.

I didn't know what the right answer was. So I just told the truth.

"You." Too late to back out now.

"Me?" Your eyebrows raised.

"Yes. Dumbass. You. Or boys in general." I blushed, I had never confessed this to anyone before. Never really thought about it. But saying it made me realize how true it really was.

When you were silent I worried I had fucked up.

"I think I could kiss both girls and boys."

"So bisexual."

You shrugged, averting your gaze. "Bi, pan, I don't know."

"Cool."

"Yeah." You grinned at me. Showing your blinding white teeth. I couldn't look for too long, afraid I might do something impulsive.

"So, do you want to try?"

"Try what?"

"Kissing, I mean."

Kissing, you meant. As in, you kissing me? I kissing you? Us kissing?

"Okay." My palms were sweaty.

You sat upright. I had always hated the few inches you had on me, you kept making fun of how tiny I was, but now it made me feel less insecure. I had to look up at you, you looked down at me. We both held our breaths.

A kiss is really just a press of skin on someone else's skin, I figured. But the only, and pretty important, difference was that this particular skin tingled at the lightest touch. I used to ghost my fingers over my lips just to get that feeling; chicken bumps raising on my arms and a small shiver running down my spine from the foreign sensation. But nothing could have prepared me for the feeling of your lips pressed against mine.

Your lips were warm and soft, and for a second I was afraid mine were too chappy and dry to kiss. But clearly, you didn't think so. Your hand felt warm and secure at the back of my neck. We were both inexperienced. Neither knew what he was doing, but it felt right. And that was all that mattered, really.

The kiss ended way too soon. I wanted to do it a thousand more times.

When I opened my eyes you were already looking at me.

"Again," I whispered.

And then we were kissing again. This time we actually moved our lips. You guided me and I tilted my head. The longer we kissed, the more I started to like it. Until I loved it. Until I loved you. The thought didn't scare me as much as it probably should've.

We spent the rest of our summer like this. Stole kisses whenever we could. Lay in your truck, my head on your chest as I pressed my lips in the hollow at your throat, your hands on the small of my back. Or I'd hold you on the beach, as we sat in the sand looking out over the water. But never with other people around. It was our secret. Us against the world, as you always said. And that was how it felt.

Looking back, I realize that we acted as boyfriends do. We kissed, held hands, spent all our time together. I think we both knew it but never spoke it out loud. It is my greatest regret. Maybe if I had told you how I felt in words, you would've realized you couldn't just leave like you eventually did. Maybe if I was better with words, you'd still be mine. 

>>A small sneak peek of the angst that will eventually come. You're welcome :)<<