We Fell In Love Over Summer - KLANCE

I'm just like Gemini

>>I'm sorry. I guess? BTW, only one more chapter after this one mclakdkm<<

Christmas break. Half a year later. I knew you'd come home then. What happened in those six months doesn't matter. I had planned to say those three words I should've said all those months ago. The skin around my tattoo was red from the tugging. Every night for those six months I lay in my bed, curtains open, looking out over Ursa Minor and Gemini. Whispering to them how I'd tell you what I had thought you already knew.

I thought that everything would be fine again once I told you.

If only.

The week before I knew your break started I had gone to your mother. She had always been kind to me, said she felt sorry for me and that she'd scolded you for not telling me. She never told me how you reacted to that and I never asked. She said you'd be home Wednesday the week after that.

I couldn't sleep that whole week. Not that I slept that great anyway. Not since you left.

And that Wednesday I went to your house. It was already dark as I walked, I praised myself for not running like all those months ago. Because I knew you'd be there this time.

When I arrived and rang the bell I was bouncing back and forth again. Nervous, but in a good way, because I knew I'd see you again and finally speak the words that wanted so desperately to leave my lips.

Your mom opened the door. She was wearing the apron you had given her for mother's day when you were seven. Her smile might have faltered the moment she saw me. She opened her mouth to say something, but I didn't wait for it. I had spotted your blue converse and was already pushing past her into the living room.

My eyes flitted around the room, taking in all the furniture. Nothing had changed.

My heart stopped when I saw you. You sat with your back to me on the couch. Tapping away on your phone, that alone was a sight I had never seen before. For a moment I just stood there, taking in the sight of you.

Because you were here. With me. At last.

"Lance," I said.

You turned around, eyebrows raised in a silent question. If I could've pushed a pause button, this is where I would've done it. Nervousness and excitement ran through my veins, I felt like I was flying. Like I was coming home after six long months.

You stood up like the couch had suddenly become too hot. Your eyes were blown wide in alarm, and you were tugging at the sleeves of your shirt like you always do when you're nervous. But I didn't notice. Because I was there, and you were there too. And I was finally going to say what I had wanted to for six months.

"Lance I-"

But I stopped. Something was wrong. Something was missing. Something besides the smile on your face.

I stepped around the couch. I was so close to you I could count your freckles.

Breathing stopped.

"Where's your?" I couldn't even finish the sentence. I moved like I was in water.

Ever so slowly, my hand raised up to the side of your face. The left side. You didn't move. Not away but not into my touch like you used to either. Where was?

"What about us against the world?" Finally my fingers found the skin right under your ears. Skin without any ink on it. Skin clear of my mark.

I love you.

"Keith." You grabbed my hand. Held it tight in yours, before letting go.

"What happened?" I didn't know what I was saying. Maybe I was rambling. In my head I was. But I was not sure what happened outside of it. Wasn't sure if any of this was even real.

I love you.

Then, a very pretty lady stepped out of the kitchen. I wondered where your mother had went. Her purple eyes ran over us. I wanted to raise my hand and shield you from her threatening gaze. But you stepped away from me. My eyes found yours automatically. Like they always did.

And you know what I found? Regret and pity. Pity towards me. Regret towards that girl. I wasn't sure what for. Didn't care, either.

"Who is this?" the girl asked.

I love you.

"A friend of mine, Keith." Friend. "He was just leaving." You looked at me as if you were trying to tell me something with your eyes. They told me you were pleading for me to follow along.

So, I swallowed. And said, "Yeah. I was. Just came to say hi." I looked at you and the empty spot beneath your ear. "I haven't forgotten about us against the world. I don't think I ever will," I said.

You didn't even nod. Kept looking down at the ground.

I tore my eyes away from you. Taking in your features one last time. And as I walked past the hallway, your mother whispered to me:

"I'm so sorry."

And I was, too, so sorry. For not being honest with you. For not telling you what I felt. But most of all I felt sorry for myself. For countless of reasons. I had alway forbidden myself to ever feel like that, not towards myself, never towards myself. But I couldn't help it.

I sat on the sidewalk in front of your house and let the tears fall. Finally. This time, I did not make a sound. Just cried for my loss. I wasn't sure for what loss I cried. That I lost you? Or that I lost a part of myself? Maybe those were the same. Maybe I lost a part of myself by losing you.

I was just like Gemini, lost my counterpart. My soulmate. My first love. And the world seemed so dark again. I couldn't imagine I had ever seen it any other way. Because that's just how life was.

I love you. I'm sorry.