Good Girls Don't Fall for Thugs

Some Scars Don't Heal

He broke me down, and he shattered my trust all at once in his stride
The man abused me, he denied me, and he watched as tears ran down my face
How could one soul do this? I believed I was in a safe place
Because of him, I fear just about all
And all I can do is blame myself; "How could I not escape?" not even crawl...

I take out the outfit that Sasha picked out for me yesterday. She is an inspiring fashion designer so she thinks that she's my personal stylist or something.
I go downstairs to get some snacks for the day because I be hungry. I reach up raiding the cabinet but it was nothing because theres never food in my house. I feel someone behind me I could tell it was my moms boyfriend by the lively smell of his cologne that I hate. I ignore him but I grow more and more uncomfortable as he comes closer behind me.
"You look so good and grown lah baby," my body tenses up as he runs his hands up my thigh. "Ya little boyfriend or whatever is outside." He says referring to Rashad whose giving me a drive to school and I shake my head 'no'. I open my mouth trying to utter a simple 'stop' but nothing comes out. " Imma always be ya first just remember that." he kisses my neck and walks away.
I run down stairs in the basement where my room is. My heart rate speeds up as my chest heaves up and down. My tears break through as I rip off my clothes. Walking to the bathroom I get into the shower and grab the soap trying to wash his touch, his lips , his breathe off of me.

   He disgusts me when I was 14 my body started to fill out Im still on the skinner side but I do run track so my body was slightly changing. One day he came into my room and forced himself on me. I cant help but feel like its my fault because I just let him do it I was frozen...

"What took you so long baby girl we late now." Rashad says as he lets me into the car.

"Yea I'm sorry" I say giving him a faint smile.

"You good ma?"

"I'm just not feeling school today." I say looking out the window.

"We dont have to go we can chill at my house." I chuckle a bit

"You know I dont skip school."

"Yea I forgot you was a goody goody. How about you come with me to Cascades tonight?"  he says making a left.

"Ok." I say as we pull up at the school. We get out and Rashad and I walk to our first class.

I hear a bunch of ouu as I walk in. "She just got done sucking dick, ya know she a hoe," Kehlani says as Rashad shoots her a look.

"She still ugly as fuck." Kayla says people say that so much that I actually think I'm ugly sometimes. But I shrug it off and sit in a table with Rashad.

"I am handing out the rubric for beginning of the year assignment your group mates names is on the packet." I roll my eyes and see that Amara and Kehlani was in my group. I can handle Amara because she's not that mean but Kehlani just hates me for no reason. I show Rashad my paper and he just shakes his head.

"Mrs.Johnson I can't work with that hoe." Kehlani says waving the paper in the air. "Chill Lani." Amara laughs. Kayla just gives me a stank look.

"You can and you will work with Yasmine." She says sitting back in her seat.
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.
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"So you gotta work with them?" Sasha asks.

"Yea I don't have a choice." I say getting into her car.

"You going to Cascades tonight?"

"Yea."

"You dont need any clothes do you?" She asks in kind of an annoyed tone I scrunch my face up but I don't say anything smart. She sometimes makes slick comments like that but I just brush it off.