"I'm here," I announced before walking in on Hope. She didn't like it. She said we needed to have boundaries. Boundaries from my wife—it was bullshit.
She lifted Gemma from her swing, she gave me a quick look and then looked away. "I have all her stuff packed."
"Great," I took her, kissing her on the top of her head. "How's it going?"
She picked up a bottle and a glass from the coffee table. "I'm fine." She frowned.
I sighed. "What did you hear or see now?"
She cleared her throat. "It's all over twitter, Slade."
"What?" I inhaled Gemma's fresh baby scent, trying to stay calm. "What is all over social media?"
"Your night out."
I nodded, watching her walk into the kitchen. "I woke up and checked my phone. I was tagged in everything you were doing."
Gemma squealed. I kissed her cheek. "Someone needs to tell mom to get off of social media."
Hope put the bottle in the dishwasher and slammed it shut. "That's always your answer. I should just get off of social media and you can keep making a fool of yourself."
I wasn't about to stick around and listen to her tell me I was wrong for going out and having fun. I headed for the living room and picked up Gemma's diaper bag, slinging it over my shoulder. "Where's the car seat?"
She sighed. "It's upstairs in her room. You're just going to leave?"
"Hope. What do you want from me?" I handed over the baby and took the steps two at a time. And went down the hall and into her room grabbing the car seat. I took a second taking in the lavender and the little ballerinas we argued over before Gemma was born. I said it was too normal—Hope loved it.
"I just don't understand why you can't be honest with me. If you want to date then say so." Her hands were on her hips.
I set the car seat down and took the baby. "Did you ever think I didn't tell you because there's nothing to tell?"
"Slade, the girl had her head in your crotch."
I laughed to myself, placing the baby in the car seat. I looked at her. "I nailed her in her ass."
"Are you kidding me right now?" She shook her head, taking a seat. Like she was actually having a hard time with anything I had to say about dating.
"With a dart. Oz in normal fashion invited them back to the VIP. She was a nice girl, we hardly talked, and she was drunk and passed out in my lap." I laid it all out of there. "The idea of sleeping with her didn't even cross my mind. And she has a boyfriend. Anything else?"
"No. You can leave."
I nodded, standing up. "I'll call you later. Unless you want to go with us."
"No, I don't. I'm going to relax. She's been extra fussy. There's Tylenol in her bag." She kissed the baby, and then me out of habit. But I didn't care, it was the only thing I ever wanted to be doing when I wasn't with Gemma. I sat the baby down, and pressed my mouth into hers harder, gripping the back of her head. She broke away looking at me in disbelief.
"We can't keep doing this." She touched my chest. "I can't keep feeling like this." Her fingers pressed against the fabric of my shirt. She frowned.
"I'll do this as long as I have to. I love you and I love Gemma and I know this is where I'm meant to be. With you two."
She shook her head. "But I don't know it's where I'm meant to be. If I knew I wouldn't be doing this. I wouldn't feel like this."
"I'll call you later." I headed for the door.
"Okay," she said. She closed the door and watched me walked down the driveway to my truck just like she did when we were together. Only difference now I could see the guilt and the what ifs running rampant in her mind.
