Like My Mother

Chapter Seven

I stand outside in the air, as it circles around me and twists my hair in face, distorting my vision of my house. Do I really want to go inside? I suck in some courage and walk inside the door where I can already hear the cans of beer cracking open, their harsh echoes reverberating off the walls and assaulting my eardrums.

I walk further into the house and see my mother and Daniel sitting on the couch. Mother is laughing and kissing Daniel's neck. Daniel is saying something sexy, a promise to fuck her real good later, into her ear and my mother reacts by massaging Daniel's crotch.

I'm revolted.

But then my mother sees me, now she's revolted. "Emma, what the fuck are you doing? Watching us like some pervert?"

I roll my eyes with them closed and groan silently, "Actually no. I..."

She looks at me, waiting for my excuse.

"I came to ask Daniel a question."

"Oh did you now?" she doesn't believe me. I wouldn't either.

"Well, what's your question?" Daniel asks warmly.

"You said that you were going to invite us to hang out didn't you?" I ask. I geniunely do want to know.

"Oh yea!" he's struck with recognition. "I found this great pond Rachel." he says looking at my mother. "And it's not that far from here, we could go down there tomorrow and maybe fish and swim and stuff. Get out of this muggy town for awhile, it'll be great. Whaddya say?"

God, I hope he's not talking about the pond I think he's talking about. She was never supposed to go there, she wasn't supposed to infect that place. Neither was Syrie, I had kept it protected from this hellhole. Now part of it was going to escape there.

"Well...can you swim there?" Mother asks.

"Shit, I'm sure you can."

"Well alright then, I guess it'd be pretty fun."

My world comes crashing down. Daniel looks up at me and flashes that million dollar smile. "You do like to swim right Emma?"

"Uh yea, fucking love it. Umm goodnight now." I leave them alone to have their fun and I race upstairs. This is too much, it's all too much. Before I reach my room, I sneak into Syrie's room and grab a bottle of the stolen gin. I need this right now and I don't give a damn if mom gets pissed.

I go into my room and shut the door, I push a chair in front of it and anchor it under the knob. I don't anyone to come in here. I strip my clothes down until I'm completely naked, I stand in front of the mirror. I take the bottle of gin and take a nice huge swig, drown out the pain please.

I find my little razor blade that I used to fool around with and I hold it close to the higher part of my leg. I push it in and slowly curve it into my skin. The red ribbons flow down from underneath and the sting keeps me from passing. The starch awakening that doesn't let me sleep through this nightmare. I keep slicing and keep swigging until the pain mixes with the drink and the power punch of the two forces me on the ground.

I don't want them to invade my spot, because if they do. It won't ever be the same again. If they do, it won't be special anymore.

It'll be just another place that they ruined.

They fucking ruined it.

My eyes slowly start to drift and before I know I'm asleep. I know I should get up and clean myself up and get dressed, but I just don't want to. I want to lay here forever and not worry about tomorrow.

I don't want there to be a tomorrow. I want to be stuck in this yesterday for the rest of my life, because that's what it'll take to save my pond.

That's what it's going to take.