4 a.m. // Jeggy

Chapter 9

Three days.

That's how long it took for me and Eliza to speak to each other again. I screwed things up so badly between us that we didn't talk for three days.

As well as three days with no talking to Eliza, I had three nights of absolutely no sleep. Not even for half an hour. I felt so guilty. I felt on edge. I felt like I messed everything up.

Poor John is probably so confused. Lunch has been quiet, without Eliza and I talking. Angelica doesn't want to tread on thin ice so she won't say anything either. Alexander can't get Eliza to tell him what's wrong and Angelica refuses to tell Laf why everything's so messed up, since it didn't involve her. And it was like that, all through Tuesday, (since we started school and fought on a Monday) all of Wednesday, and all of Thursday. Three full days of not a single word spoken between my elder sister and I.

When we talked, it was on Friday afternoon at lunch. Apparently, the rest of our friends had created some sort of 'intervention' type thing because they knew something was wrong. So during lunch, without telling me or Eliza, they all just left.

We sat there for a minute or two, picking at our food in the awkward silence that surrounded us. Until suddenly, Eliza took in a breath and released a jumble of words.

"Listen Peggy, I really don't want to keep this up any longer and I can't get the whole situation off my mind, and I feel so guilty about all of this and—" She said, words pouring out of her mouth like rain from a cloud.

"Eliza." I said simply, pulling my chair closer to hers and putting my hand in her shoulder. She looked up, worry clouding her eyes. I felt the shame rise in me even more; Eliza deals with a lot of anxiety issues in her life and I'm sure I haven't made them any easier in the past couple of days.

"I'm so, so, sorry. I hate not talking to you. I miss you and I feel so terrible for all this. Will you forgive me?" I asked, not knowing what else to say. There were so many things I could've done. I could've told her about James, told her how I haven't slept at all, cried and broke down. But I didn't.

"Yes. And... I'm sorry too. For overlooking you and then coming in thinking that you'll just tell me whatever is going wrong in your life. I can be selfish and hypocritical and so many terrible things to you and I really try not to. It's all just because I'm so, so worried about you. And we both know that I worry and get anxiety about everything, but you mean so much to me. I just want you to be happy... I want you to be able to talk to me. I'm sorry too, Peggy. More than you'll ever know." She said, fidgeting with her hands.

"Eliza, you are the least selfish person I know. And the least hypocritical. And the least terrible. You're practically an angel. I couldn't ask for a more amazing sister. You don't need to worry about me. I know you can't control it, but you don't need to. And I'll talk to you more from now on. We'll become closer because we're sisters and this bond will last forever, ok? I love you." I said, leaning over and hugging her tightly. She nodded against my shoulder and exhaled deeply. We pulled apart from the hug and I smiled at her, which she returned.

Just then, everyone came back to the table.

"Were you spying on us?" Eliza laughed, looking at Alex accusingly. He shrugged and smirked a little bit.

"I don't know. Were we?" He answered, obviously trying not to laugh. The rest of us failed miserably at holding it in. All of us laughed away the tension that had lingered over the past few days, finally happy that all was back to normal again.

John leaned across the table to me once things had settled down a bit. We'd been talking a little more recently, in some of the classes we shared. He was a good distraction from all the problems I had with my sister.

"So all is well?" He mumbled quietly. I nodded with a small smile, happy because my sister problems were fixed and because John was talking to me.

I may or may not have developed a tiny crush on him in the past week or so. Hey, what can I say! He's attractive and sweet. But I'm being extremely careful because that's how...he was too. I don't want a repeat of that. It's the very last thing I need right now.

Distracting myself again, from the thoughts of James (which, unluckily for me, are becoming more frequent,) I answered him.

"Yeah. I'm happy that it's all fixed. I missed my sister." I replied. He nodded and continued the conversation, asking about English homework and such.

"John, do you ever write down the homework like very single teacher in this school suggests?" I ask with a small giggle after he tells me that he already forgot what he had to do for homework for the class we had right before lunch. He shrugged.

"Eh. As long as someone else knows it, I'm good. We have all the same classes pretty much and you write everything down everyday, so I can just rely on you." He said with a smile. I felt a blush rise to my cheeks and I laughed again and looked away.

"Yeah, you can always count on me." I beamed.