YouTube One-Shots (Book 3)

Fuck, I Kissed a Mob Boss

Pairing: Krytoonz

It was normal to find John at the bar. He practically lived there at this point. The bartender knew him by name, and even had a room in the back seat up for John when he was too drunk to go back home. It happened about once a month. But he was still a paying customer, so therefore he got to stay.

On this particular night, it was raining. Thundering, even. The wind howled outside, the rain pelting the windows and door, as of it we're trying to get in.

John had already decided he was going to stay. There was no way in hell he was going home through that.

He had had plenty of drinks by the time the bar was nearly empty, save for the bartender and one passed out man at one of the back tables.

The door to the bar slammed open, which caused the bartender to jump. John's reflexes were slow, so he only looked up from his drink. The man at the door had sort of a brooding look. He stood tall as he walked over to the bar, sitting next to John. "Give me your strongest stuff," he said. The bartender nodded quickly and went straight to getting the drink, trembling slightly.

John, in his drunken state, thought the man was absolutely gorgeous. He hiccuped and smiled, which caught the man's attention.

"You... You come around here often?" John asked.

The bartender nearly dropped the drink he was giving to the man and shot a look at John that read shut the fuck up. But John ignored it and took a sip of his drink.

The man seemed amused by his drunken state. "Not really, no. Why, you come here often?"

John noticed the southern accent he had, and thought it fit the man perfectly.

"Yeah... We don't get many southern angels like yourself here..."

The bartender shot John another look, and the man gave the bartender a look and motioned for him to go. The bartender squeaked and his face flushed as he scurried to the back room, keeping the door open a crack to see what would happen.

"Southern angel? That's one I've never heard before." He took a sip of his drink.

John smiled to himself. He thought he had a good chance at this.

"Really? That's a shame, 'cause you really are handsome. You taken?"

The bluntness of John made the man laugh. "No," he said, "but I'd be willing to take someone as cute as you." He winked. John blinked in surprise and then grinned.

"You're cuter."

The man chuckled and leaned forward, "Is that so?"

"Yep." John downed the rest of his drink and hiccuped, grinning up at the man.

They stared at each other for a few seconds before John made a move and connected his lips with the man's.

John pulled back with the same grin and slapped the bar, looking around. He frowned. "Dammit, where'd he go? I want another drink." The man chuckled and slid his own drink to John.

"You can have the rest, I've got places to be."

John frowned, "What? In this weather? Can't you stay with me?"

"No can do, cutie. Maybe next time." John pouted and drank the rest of the drink the man had. The man got up and winked at him before he got up at left.

John yawned; it was pretty late, and all that last drink had done was make him even more tired.

The bartender returned back behind the counter, looking shocked.

"Imma go to bed," John said, getting up and slapping some money on the counter. It still poured outside, so he stumbled to the back room and passed out as soon as his head hit the pillow.

~~

John woke up with possibly the worst headache of all time. He groaned as he got up, holding his head. "Fuck," he muttered, stumbling out of the room and into the bar. The bartender stood behind the bar, cleaning glasses. On the bar was a glass of water and some medicine. John sat down and downed both the water and medicine. "Thanks Anthony," he mumbled.

"Do... Do you remember anything that happened yesterday?" Anthony asked cautiously.

"I don't... I don't think so, why?"

"Oh my God, John, you did the dumbest fucking thing and somehow got away with it."

"Oh great, what did I do this time, hit on some big guy's wife?"

"Worse. You hit on Luke Patterson."

John stopped and looked up at Anthony. "You're kidding, right? Please tell me you're kidding."

Anthony shook his head.

John groaned, "Of course I hit on the world's most notorious mob boss when I'm drunk. For fucks sake, what's wrong with me?"

"I don't know, and, this isn't going to make you feel any better, but I think you oughta know... You kissed him, too."

"What."

"Yeah... Don't know how you survived that one, either."

"I can't believe it. What the actual fuck. I'm going to die."

Anthony pat his back, "Sorry, bud."

"If I don't come back soon, assume I'm dead. And I'll say this now: you were a great friend and I appreciate you."

"Thanks. You should probably be on your way now; if he comes looking for you I don't want you to be here."

"I can't stay for a little longer?"

"I'd rather you not."

John sighed. "Alright. Fair enough. See you soon, I hope." Anthony just nodded at him, and John left, hoping to God that wouldn't be the last time he walked out of that bar.