VULNERABLE HEARTS

• to hate and love someone

[ TO HATE AND LOVE SOMEONE ]

— you were my everything, my very existence, and yet the one person who i thought would never hurt me, was the one holding the knife.

when i was a little girl,
i thought every story
had a happy ending,
and when i grew up,
i realised i was wrong.

in this world, people
seek money and power,
it's rare to find someone
searching for love and
acceptance, but you
find love in the most
unexpected places.

when i was sixteen,
i fell in love with a boy
who was a year older
than me, he had black
wavy hair, and caramel
brown eyes that could
melt you like butter.

and once he fell for me,
or so i thought, we
clicked like soul mates,
we spent so much time
together, we hugged
after the bell rings,
and we part our ways.

i never thought home
could be in someone's
arms until he showed
up and proved me
wrong in so many ways.

they say, home is where
the heart is, and i believe it.

i gave him my all,
my everything, i
actually thought
that we were
going to last.

then he proved me wrong
once again, a year after
i told him i loved him,
he shattered my heart
and told me that he played
me, it was all for a bet
that he made with his friends.

i still remember the heartbreak
i felt when he uttered those words,
they were words i could never
forget, it haunted me everyday.

three years has passed,
i still lived in the city i
grew up in, and so did
he, and every time we
crossed paths, i felt my
heart beat like thunder.

how could i love someone
like him who broke my
heart like glass?

i trusted him and loved
him like it was my last
day, but yesterday was
different in some way.

we crossed paths again,
this time he looked at
my face, i saw his eyes
widen in shock and regret
filled them, and this time
my heartbeat was normal,
it no longer beats for him.

i could see the conflict
in his wide eyes and
i loved how i knew he
regrets what he did to
me, and i no longer
feel the pain from it.

the one person i trusted
fully was him, i gave him
my heart because i thought
it was safe, i never knew that
he would turn me cold
and freeze from the absence
of his warmth once he left.

but now i knew better,
and i have learned to
forgive, i have loved
and hated him at the
same time, but now i
felt at peace, no not
from his regret and
guilt, but for the peace
of mind that i have
learned a lesson, i should
be better than the people
who treated me like
the dirt from the bottom
of their shoes, i learned
to be a better person
rather than act on my
revenge, i learned to be
better than him.

[ TO HATE AND LOVE SOMEONE ]

It's already flopping and im just uwmfjkwfnsnf, okok stop it self, okay so updates will be pretty random but i guess at least once a week i'll update, depending on my mood (:

have an amazing day!1! next update will prolly be in like two days or three?? ♡