Things are absolutely uncertain. There's not one thing we can predict or prepare for in this life. I can appreciate this in the context of life. I can recognize the space uncertainty can make for opportunity and growth but I can't seem to apply this wonder to the context of love. Uncertainty in love brings me so much stress and anxiety. I constantly question whether the other person is still interested in me or if they have found someone better. These worries are so childish and self-centered yet not much can stop them- surely not me.
Maybe these worries speak to my insecurity. I tend to feel as if I am the problem or have done something they didn't approve of.
Maybe these speak to the way I fear I will never be as good of a person as I hope to be. That I am not possibly one to invest more in or someone to view as long term.
Maybe these speak to how easily I fall for people- so fast without any grounded information or logic to guide my heart.
Maybe.
All I know is that uncertainty in love has always brought me bad. Bad doesn't equal uncertainty and vice versa yet the association still lies there in the back of my mind nudging me out of a state of stability. This association doesn't hold true in life. I have come to learn that it can bring so much good. Maybe uncertainty can bring openness, intimacy, and even connection in the context of love. Maybe. Just because it has yet to happen, doesn't mean it never will.
YOU ARE READING
Open-Ended: Letters to Myself and the World
PoetryThese are simply scribbles of thoughts or ideas that just bubble up. Much is unedited and meant to allow for the words to set in as they are meant to for each reader.
