Being back has been hard. I fall right back into my old patterns of insecurity and worry. The thing is I can't seem to trust in security so I just end up this worried mess. Why do I always fear it all? Fear losing everything. I think it is because I care and feel so much. I am so scared of no one feeling like I do. I am scared of people having the capacity to just not care. It is something so prominent in this world. Something I see all around me.
I am so different and this world asks me to be a normal calloused follower. I see things differently. I see a kid in everyone. The light happy giggly weird little personalities that escape when the world isn't looking.
Why have we become this? Why has society created such thick skins for such delicate souls? Being in San Francisco has made me see everyone's think skin. We have to work to be gentle and soft with others. We have to fight these harsh tendencies that have grown with the purpose of protection. We are constantly in defense against the world and others.
How could we feel connected when we have all forgotten how to be soft? This gentleness is something I so deeply crave. Patient, tender, light and gentle souls. I have found some but they have become a rarity- an endangered species that lives among the abrasive and hostile majority.
Seeing these type of people remind me that we can feel. We can feel much more than insecurity and fear. We are allowed to feel happiness, love, bliss and light.
YOU ARE READING
Open-Ended: Letters to Myself and the World
PoetryThese are simply scribbles of thoughts or ideas that just bubble up. Much is unedited and meant to allow for the words to set in as they are meant to for each reader.
