I have been seeking a home and a connection. Something to fill my need. Something to make me feel safe again. I think I need to find my way back to faith. I need to find my way back to trust. I've forgotten these things and how they work.
I've lost my connection to myself and in the process have severed any hopes of connecting with others. I need people. I am so scared of them and am so absolutely sensitive to their reactions. I need them though. I am so untrusting of them which pushes me to venture out alone because hopefully I can at least trust myself. But do I?
I don't really. I don't trust my human self or my existence. I don't trust the world or the universe. I have lost faith.
I want to feel again. I do. I rather feel everything than nothing. Nothing entitles layers upon layers of emptiness. I want to go back to when I felt in control and took charge of my surroundings. I want to take back life.
I want to know, to fully believe that there are people by my side. The world is by my side too.
Maybe I've lost God. So where do I need to look? How do I find you again? What do I need to face to bring back my faith? I'm asking for help from people and from you. I need you to show me what and why. I just want to understand my pain.
YOU ARE READING
Open-Ended: Letters to Myself and the World
PoetryThese are simply scribbles of thoughts or ideas that just bubble up. Much is unedited and meant to allow for the words to set in as they are meant to for each reader.
