Colouring Book || Harry Styles

Twenty-two

*smut* so sorry if you are fasting right now! it's at the end of the chapter and when you get to that part you could just stop reading because nothing important happens after. but for the rest of you, enjoy ;)

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Twenty-two

Saturday, September 2nd. That was the date. Not only did it completely ruin my day but it also made me feel absolutely sick to the stomach.

It had been one week and two days since my wisdom teeth surgery. The site was still swollen and red, it still hurt to eat, and the pain still kept me up during the night, but aside from that, I was feeling great. I started the day off fairly early at 9:30 and a nice breakfast. I did some writing for a blog post and I also cleaned up my whole room. And when I said clean, I meant a good proper clean. I went through my closet and drawer to take out all the clothes I didn't wear anymore and placed them in a big garbage bag to donate later. I went through the piles of shit in my closet and under my bed, sorting them out and throwing out the stuff I didn't need anymore. I had my window open to bring fresh air into my room. It took four hours to clean everything, but in the end, I was very happy with myself and my room looked so much nicer.

But as soon as I looked at the calendar on the side of my drawer and realized it wasn't August anymore, that was when everything flipped upside down. No matter how much I snuggled with Tiger on my bed or tried to distract my mind by watching YouTube videos, I just couldn't shake the feeling.

Alex was starting her first year of sixth form on Wednesday and I was starting my second year of university in three weeks time on September 25th. My summer vanished and I was soon going to buried from the piles of work, not having any time for myself once again. It shouldn't have been such a big deal to me, but I couldn't help feeling that way. So I wasn't surprised when this feeling continued on for the whole week.

Every day after that, as soon as I woke up, the first emotion I would feel was devastation and dread. That thought consumed my whole body every second of the day. It felt like a dementor was above me, feeding on all the happiness and positivity inside of me. That was the only way I described my waves of depression because it was so fucking accurate.

The week was a blur. But I vaguely remembered me and Shana going to Lucy's house to hang out for a day. Since Lucy had a pool at her house, we originally planned on going swimming, but I just decided to tan instead and didn't even bother to bring a swimsuit. And my reasoning was simple, I didn't want to feel even more shit about myself than I already did. We also had a barbecue lunch and watched a movie in her basement, but that was all I remembered. It didn't even feel like I was actually physically there.

I also hung out with Harry two times. On Sunday, we went for an afternoon snack and went to a nearby park. Harry noticed I was quiet and sluggish which lead to him asking me if I was all right. I replied back honestly, saying I was having another wave of depression because I didn't want summer to end. I felt so stupid admitting it out loud, but Harry being the amazing person he is gave me a tight hug. So on Tuesday when we hung out again, all we did was chill at Harry's house. He made me lunch and we sat in his back garden to have another picnic. I did some writing and watched as Harry played chords on his guitar and tried to write a new song.

It was now Thursday, September 7th and I just came back from a check-up appointment with my oral surgeon. He said everything looked good since the site was healing nicely and all the stitches have fallen out. But he said I still wasn't allowed to eat nuts, popcorn, and other foods that could get stuck in there. I lay on my bed, snuggling with Tiger as I read Simon Vs The Homosapien Agenda. I just started the book and I was already hooked. But I stopped a few pages in when I heard Alex and my mum whispering downstairs.