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"Humanity," I whispered, relishing the softness of the pillow beneath my face. I picked up the velvet blanket and ran my fingers along the smooth surface. Even this life of luxury was a commodity. Maybe I was just plain lucky to be born rich twice.

But the one thing I was unfortunate to have was love.

Love was like water. It flowed like the liquid, escaped through crevices and was harder to grasp with bare hands.

"Daddy asked me about humanity." I turned to face the painting of mama. "How can I answer that being a child?"

He held high expectations for me but not in the way my parents did in the past life. Rido was more understanding about my mistakes. He treated me like the child I was. He didn't leave me alone in the arms of strangers or to fend for myself.

Rido acted like a true parent, apart from his counterpart in the anime or manga.

He was truer as a parent to me than my own parents in my previous life.

"I forget how easy it is to immerse oneself in this world." I was human once upon a time but disliking my origins and given a second chance, it seemed I loved this life better. That was why I lost myself, my identity and my emotions to the body of a vampire child. Given a second chance with people who dearly loved me made me appreciate what I found.

"Humanity for me is love. Do you want to know why, mama?" Even now, I was lost as Rido. Love for someone consumed us both with grief.

He was a widower and I was a motherless child.

"I will explain everything to you since daddy and Ejin-sama are outside," I began speaking with the language I used in another life. "My name in my last life was Ava Morris. I didn't know love the way you and daddy showered me with because the parents I had were more self-absorbed than anything else."

I sat up on the bed that dad moved into the room because I refused to sleep away from mama's painting. My face took on a solemn expression. "I wasn't allowed to call my own father dad. I called him Sir. He was part of the military and spent most of his time overseas."

I shook my head. "My mother was a social elite. She spent her days in charity events and attending parties than to take care of me. Nannies raised me. Endless of them and they reached a point they couldn't stand me too."

My fingers clutched the fabric of my dress tightly at my thighs. "I yearned to please both my parents. I thought that by being the best I could earn their love."

I felt a prickling sensation by my eyes. "But that didn't matter. Learning to speak five different languages, condoning myself like a lady, singing, dancing, graduating as valedictorian in my all girl high school meant nothing to them."

I turned away from mama and my voice cracked with the question I was about to ask. "Do you want to know how I know they didn't love me?"

My hands unclenched. I stretched my fingers against one of my thighs. "At eighteen I collapsed in the bathroom. I thought it was me not eating properly." I twined my fingers, refusing to look at the painting. "The last nanny had left and my mother thought it was a waste to hire someone else to take care of me."

"I overheard them, my parents, arguing about me. I burdened them with my existence. All because I wasn't born a boy."

I bit my lip, unsure how to continue. "You see boys had more advantages than girls. Boys didn't have to worry about raising a family. They were stronger, better paid and had more opportunities." I paused. "I guess I can see where they're coming from. Maybe if I was a boy I wouldn't have gotten sick, right?"

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