darling: poems by colleen cosette goodman

odes

i. to the floor, with all my love

I let my body turn into silk and will and turned myself to the floor,
Felt it's hard embrace
I think we do not appreciate the hard embraces sometimes;
Those of floors and those of lovers
Those of the girls I wrapped my arms round and prayed for love to leave their bodies
I lay on the floor and nothing stepped over me; nothing dirtied me
I was as clean and pure as Sunday morning ocean walks and babies' laughter
I was purer than I had known,
Cleaned out like a gaping, scooping wound with hydrogen peroxide
The sting still fresh in my torn and weeping skin

ii. to the poem

I want the poem to lift me, like a prayer
I want all this hurt out
I want to hold someone's hand and feel their fingers through my hair
All this weight on my chest aches,
But
It is I who keeps piling the rocks on,
And still I beg
"More"

iii. to god and to my heart

In the poem I must always mention God
As He has remained a mainstay and a true friend
I pray and pray for companionship
God send me someone, I pray,
And I will love them so deftly and deeply
I will stain the corners of my weak and brittle heart with love
But I must remember to pray and act
Hold into my cross
And go into the world

iv. to wait, to the break

I am in a Lenten waiting period
Each day I wait for the sun to come out
And for myself to wake clear-eyed and beautiful
But I am still that weak little girl
And I still dream of girls with roses in their hair to take my hand
And do what I think I cannot for myself