Planes of Ink (A Prequel)

Chapter 3:

~Yna~

They said I was strong, that I was optimistic and vulnerable. That no problems bother me. But that only happens when they're around.

They rarely see the lonely girl behind those intimidating smiles who had a useless dream, but couldn't get rid of it. Fake friends, but is too afraid to lose them. Worthless life, but is too scared to end it.

I wanted to be surrounded by people, like my classmates who had a simple life... living on majestic houses with their parents having a respectful job. I got too carried away with being social, and end up having nothing in the end.

I soon realized that most of them didn't care for me... I was right in front of them but they can't see me, literally, resisting my presence. Even Gina, who was supposed to be always there for me. I couldn't blame her, she is the most popular girl in school. And of all of her friends, where was my place?

I guess, maybe 150x farther than her closest friend?... If she doesn't have a whole squad yet. Yep, she's that popular.

Well, life sucks. So much for being so stupidly autistic from the start.

Dear Life,

I like you but I'd rather stick to death. He's the truth, and you're just a beautiful lie.

~~~~~~~~~

And I tried.

I looked at the roof of the bell tower. At this late hour, surely no one could see me from here.

I really hate the world, I hate the people who don't say it in front of me but gossip instead in cowardness, and I hate myself.

For being sensitive, for being so weak, for being this ugly, crappy, shit. For being useless...

For being worthless.

I found myself raising my heels and my tiptoes started lifting of the old wooden roof. I closed my eyes, hoping to feel the wind on my face as I fell.

But I didn't.

I felt a grip on my wrist and for once, I felt angry. I wanted to see who s/he was, but I resisted. I felt tears in my eyes. I opened them and hissed.

"Why?" I furiously asked, looking at the ground. A high-pitched male voice spoke. "Because... Because I don't want you to end up like me. I lost my memory trying to kill myself. And it's more depressing than what you feel right now."

I gasped. I never knew someone could feel depression like I do. Of all the people in the world-

Another thought came to mind, and I was getting more furious. I struggled to break free. "You don't know about my feelings weirdo! Just let me go! Let me die! I'm sure a lot of people are more important to you than me!"

There was silence. The only things I could hear was his harsh breathing, and the beating of my heart. I knew it. He's doing nonsense. "Then let me go."

"I can't. There are still people who care about you." I groaned. "No there isn't. I lost them."

"Really?" I paid no attention. But my ears disobeyed. "How about your family? Aren't you scared to know how they would react?" The words rang in my mind.