Blonde Hair Dye

3. hashtags

Chance bounced the basketball against the concrete, quickly moving past Quinn as he jumped and threw the basketball into the hoop.

"Ay fam you getting better," Quinn said. He placed his hands on his hips, panting heavily as sweat dripped down his forehead. He used his shirt to wipe it away.

"Rematch?" Chance asked.

Quinn shook his head. "Nah b, I'm good." He grabbed the plastic water bottle, chugging it down.

"Embarrassed you'll lose again?"

Quinn rolled his eyes and put down the bottle, laughing. "Bruh I let you win!"

Chance nodded his head. "Sure you did," He said sarcastically. He sat down on the bench, taking some time to catch his breath as he looked through his notifications on his phone. He noticed a hashtag trending on instagram.

#prayforJayJay

Chance lifted his head up a bit, trying to make sense of it. What were the prayers for? He kept scrolling, finding another hashtag trending.

#justiceforJayJay

Justice? Chance clicked on the hashtags, seeing videos from a security camera of a drive–by shooting. And the victim was Jamal.

"Jay–Jay got shot?" Chance whispered to himself. Quinn quickly turned to Chance.

"What?" Quinn felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. "Oh shit. Did he really?"

Chance showed him his phone, letting the video of the drive–by shooting play. Jamal and Tony were both caught off guard as an arm extended out of the car driving next to them. The gun in the mystery persons hand fired four times at the two, but only Jamal was hit twice. The car drove off quickly and recklessly and Tony held onto his brother. There was no audio, but it was clear that Tony was shouting for help.

"Damn. He really got shot." Quinn sat down next to Chance, staring at the ground. The two boys sat quietly, waiting for one of them to speak up.

"I think Ima go home," Chance said as he stood up.

Quinn looked up at him and nodded. "'Aight, catch you later, b."

Chance nodded once, picking up his basketball and walking out of the court.

****

"Were you scared?" Nina asked Tony as they walked down the hall. Tony glanced down at his sister.

"What?"

"Were you scared?" Nina repeated.

"Yea. I mean... it was unexpected." Tony replied. Nina looked straight ahead, seeing her mom sitting in a seat as she was waiting for an update from one of the surgeons. "Hey, ma'."

She looked at Tony and Nina, pulling her into a tight hug. "Oh, Nina." She pulled away to look at her daughter. "You ok?"

Nina nodded and was pulled into another tight hug.

"How's he doing?" Tony asked.

"He's still in surgery but they said it's going good." Nina's mom used the crumpled up tissue in her hand to wipe away her tears. It was obvious that she had been crying for a while. Her eyes were red and puffy.

A man in scrubs walked up to the family, his hands folded in front of him. Nina's mom held onto the doctors arms, praying for good news only.

"There was a slight complication but we managed to get it under control." The doctor smiled at the woman. "He pulled through. He should make a full recovery."

Ma' and Tony both thanked God for being on their side and for letting Jamal live. Nina could feel a sense of relief in her chest. She held on tightly to the 'get well' balloon in her hand, her knuckles popping out.

"Can we see him?" Ma' asked. The doctor nodded.

"Yes of course. Follow me."

Wasting no time, Ma' and Tony both followed the doctor eagerly. Nina wasn't as eager as they were. She didn't want to start crying. Regardless, she followed them into a hospital room. Jamal was laying on the bed, machines surrounding him.

"I'll give you guys some time alone," the doctor said as he left the room. Ma' took Jamal's hand into hers, smiling. Jamal barley opened his eyes.

"Hey, baby. How you doing?" Ma' asked.

Jamal shrugged. "I'm alive." He chuckled and looked over at Tony who was frowning. "Wassup lil bro?"

Tony moved closer to Jamal. "I'm sorry I didn't do anything," he mumbled. Jamal scoffed.

"It ain't your fault. I shoulda been more careful. Shoulda known that dudes woulda been on the look out for me as soon as I got out."

Nina looked down at the floor, thinking of what to say to Jamal. All she really wanted to say was 'I told you'. But that wouldn't really solve anything. Instead, she just bit her tongue and walked up to him.

"Oh hey, Nina."

Nina gave him a crack of a smile, tugging on the string of the balloon. "This is for you."

Jamal looked up at the balloon, letting out a weak laugh. "Oh shit, you didn't have to." He was happy just hearing her talking. "How was school?" He asked.

"Same old," she replied. "I got 100 on my algebra quiz."

"Good job!" Jamal exclaimed in a hushed tone. "Keep working hard. You got a beautiful brain, Nina. I wanna see you succeed and become the person I couldn't be."

And it was just like that, she could feel her tears escaping from her eyes. She wanted to yell at her brother and tell him it still wasn't too late. She wanted to yell at him and tell him how this was a sign that he still had a chance to turn his life around. She wanted to yell at him and tell him that there wouldn't be a next time. She just wanted to yell at him.

But instead she just nodded and smiled at him.

****

Chance patted himself dry after his relaxing shower. He let his towel drape around his shoulders as he walked into his room, wearing only his boxers. He shut his door and locked it so that no one would interrupted what he was about to do.

He grabbed a new syringe and a small black case, sitting down on his bed. He pulled his boxers up a little on his right thigh, exposing more of it. He unzipped his case, taking out the bottle of testosterone and taking out the new syringe, filling it up with the hormone.

"Alright, you got this," he silently encouraged himself. He gently flicked the syringe to get rid of the bubbles. This was never easy. He still couldn't get used to this after two years. But finally he pushed the syringe into his thigh and pushed the testosterone into his body. He smiled to himself, setting the empty syringe to the side.

You did it.

Chance put a bandaid over where he put the needle in, taking a moment before standing up. He looked at himself in the mirror, putting his towel on his bed. His body was starting to look more like a guy. His breasts were slowly going away and so were his curves. He felt more like himself than ever before. But the one thing that bothered him the most was down below. He still walked around with the parts he didn't want.

It was never easy being a black, transgender guy. Especially when he wasn't even out yet. He was too afraid to. Everyone at school would judge him and treat him differently. That's what they did to that one gay kid who came out. He ended up moving away just to escape all the bullying he experienced.

But Chance would make sure that no one would ever find out so that he wouldn't have to face the harsh treatment of the other people at school or in his own community.