I Hate You (Larry Stylinson) ✅

19. lunch

Feb 25

So in the other chapter Harry said he was gonna take Lou to the doctor but I decided I wanted it to be Liam... so I changed it. Sorry!

Louis' POV

It's around 12:30pm when Liam arrives.

"Hey," I say, opening the door and leading him inside. "How are you?"

"Good," Liam replies. He's all dressed up in his work clothes - grey slacks and a white collared shirt - and he's holding a bag from Pret.

"Oh, what's that?" I ask, swallowing thickly.

"Oh, the sandwiches. Remember, I texted you last night about what you wanted? You said turkey and avocado on wheat, right?" Liam says, unbagging the food. "And I got us yogurt cups too, as the dairy product for the meal."

I jerk my head forward, nodding robotically. "Yeah, yeah, right. I guess I kind of forgot."

"No worries," Liam says. He grabs two paper plates from the cabinet and sets them down.

I shrug, trying to ignore the nervousness wracking my body as Liam takes a bite of his sandwich. I guess I'm supposed to be eating mine too.... but the voice is so s t r o n g.

It's been strong ever since I got home, honestly. I also realized something horrible: the voice isn't just there when I'm eating, it's there after too. In fact, it's probably worse after because of the guilt I feel when the food is sitting there in my stomach.

I first notice this yesterday when I broke down crying the minute Harry left. At first, I didn't know why I was so upset. But then the thoughts began to fill my mind the same way the food had filled my stomach. And I started thinking about How the peanut butter was making me fatter by the second. How I had to go downstairs to the gym to burn it off. How I was stupid for believing them when they told me I was sick - I wasn't sick. I was fat. So fat...

I called Harry about a half hour later. It was so fucking embarrassing. He was literally just at my house, and had been at the hospital with me all weekend. He probably just wanted a break of me. But of course I had to be a burden. Of course I couldn't take care of myself.

I promised Liam and Niall that I could be independent. That I would handle this. But here I was, crying over a fucking spoonful of peanut butter.

"Hello? Louis, are you okay?" Harry asked, a hint of surprise breaking through his usual monotone.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," I said quickly. "I um, just had a question. I guess I could have texted you... feel stupid now for calling because you were just here."

"No, it's totally fine," Harry replied. "I like to hear the sound of your voice."

I'm pretty sure I blushed when he said that. Did he really? The sound of my voice. I had been always been told it was high pitched and irritating.

"Thanks," I said, coughing a bit. "I, um. Just honestly having a real time dealing with this guilt. I feel the urge to go to the gym to burn this off and I keep pacing around like a mad man. Eating is only half the battle... now I have to like, not burn it off."

"Right, that's tough," Harry says. His voice deepens a bit and I hear the faint sound of a woman's voice in the background. That's odd, though. It's probably just the television.

"I remember doing that. Pacing around just wishing I had an object sharp enough..." Harry continues. "I still do that sometimes. It sucks, I know. You just need something to take your mind off it. Writing, maybe. Or Netflix. Maybe even window shopping. Anything you like do."