dor 【 the outsiders 】

twelve.

unbeknownst to him

Agnes did what Ricky Fontaine told her to do so many times. In the two weeks after she fought with Sodapop, she was almost completely alone. She socialized with the people at the bar and Ricky, on most nights, would stay a little over time and talk with her, especially when she seemed upset. She was glad: now she knew three guys in Tulsa that weren't just trying to get her to bed.

After the fight, she decided that when she got sixty bucks, she'd have enough to get her far enough away. She had forty-five right now and could see almost ten bucks in the jar, she counted as people dumped them in for her. The night was long and at the end, Buck gave her her usual about three dollars.

Fifty-eight is close enough.

So Agnes made her way over to the house she'd only seen from her car. She knew Sodapop would be up because he didn't work tomorrow. He was outside with Steve playing some game and they were yelling at one another. She chuckled and got out of the car and Sodapop and Steve both watched her.

"I'mma go get a beer," Steve said, excusing himself and leaving the two alone.

"I started smoking when I was nine after my parents divorced," she announced, breaking the silence. "Yeah it was really early and I don't think I'll ever be able to quit and I don't know if I want to because I'm gonna die anyway so why not rot my organs. That sounds bad, I know, but it hasn't stopped me so far."

"Why are you--"

"And I have a scar on my leg from when I fell off a horse and onto a piece of glass on my daddy's farm. I was just bleeding out but I didn't want any help I just wanted to keep riding the horse." Sodapop was quiet and listened to the little memoirs from her earlier life. "A little before that, I stepped on a nail and it was long so it went through my shoe and I cried for like ten minutes and nobody heard me so I shut up and asked my mom's boyfriend, Dennis, to help me but he told me to suck it up and soak it in some water or something."

"What do these have to do with anything?"

"You wanted to know everything about me and why I am the way I am and this stuff is why." She bit her lip and looked around making sure no one was listening but lowered her voice anyway, knowing someone could be listening from inside. "One time, I was taking a shower and Dennis was high on, probably, coke or heroin or meth or whatever he was doing and he mistaked me for my mom and he forced himself onto me. He didn't listen to me and he blacked out after. He did that a few times. He cut off my hair and locked me in a closet one day because I was getting on his nerves or whatever and he told my mom I was askin' for it."

Sodapop could barely listen because he was in shock and he wished he wouldn't have pried. "I wouldn't go to your house because he let his friends take turns with me. I know you won't do nothin' like that but I couldn't help it. It may not seem to be that big of a deal to some people but it was real shitty for me. My momma never believed me when I told her and that's why I left and I'm not goin' back. Not as long as he is there."

"I'm sorry, Agnes."

"Don't be. You didn't do anything and I guess I should've said something. I was just being a baby."

Soda shook his head and pulled her in for a hug. "No, you weren't. Not at all." He let go of her and looked at her while she looked at the ground. "I don't understand the whole thing, honestly, but I don't blame you for keepin' it to yourself."

"This girl I used to live by told the police that it was happenin' to her and they just laughed at her." Agnes crossed her arms and shook her head, suddenly upset at the situation all over again. "I didn't want anyone to laugh at me."

"Well, I'm not laughin'."

"Thank you." She grabbed his hands and looked at him one last time. "And now you know everything about me, is that better?"

He chuckled and she pulled him in for a kiss. In the months they'd been together, they hadn't kissed yet besides a peck on the cheek or forehead. That kiss caused a small cheer from Steve inside the house and an eruption of cheers inside of Agnes. She wanted to kiss him forever and that's why she pulled away from him. Breathless and smiling, they rested their foreheads against each others.

"I've had a long night, alright? I'm gonna go and sleep."

"Where you sleeepin' at?"

"Buck's. He said the New York kid's in the cooler for the next couple of weeks so the room is all mine."

He grimaced and shook his head a little, asking, "You sure you wanna stay there?"

"I am sure," she chuckled and squeezed his hand, "I sleep there enough already and I work there. Nothin' bad's happened yet."

"Well alright. I'll see you tomorrow then? We can go out earlier since I don't work."

She only nodded, suddenly feeling slightly sick. She knew it was because he wouldn't see her again and she wouldn't see him. "I love you, y'know? Like... a lot."

"I love you too."

She kissed him again, this time slower and savoring it a little more than the last and when she pulled away, she looked at him the way she did when they were dancing. It was her last look at him and she saw everything. She squeezed his hand one more time and then gave him one more hug. He was a little confused as to why she was taking so long but it wasn't something he'd complain about. She let go, feeling herself hold on tighter while letting go at the same time. She walked to her car and started it, not looking back at Sodapop because something in her felt that if she looked at him one more time, she'd be staying with him despite herself.

She made it to Buck's for the last time.

this one's rlly long which makes sense bc the last two were rather short.
okay, most of these stories did come from somewhere. not from me but i rlly don't feel at liberty to disclose such information.
i, luckily, don't know how it feels to be abused in any of these ways so i hope i don't portray it badly with agnes (fight me on this if you want) but honestly i don't think theres a wrong way to portray victims of assault because they all respond to it differently. i mean obviously there's some wrong ways but i mean idk i hope y'all know what i mean.

next chapter is the last chapter then this book is donee
nxya 💜