Glass Planet

V I V A

I left him in the building where Logan, Lyra and I would spend the hottest days, playing when we were children, talking when we were older. From a glance, no one would be able to tell that it was abandoned; it stood proud and shining. However, the real story was different; the building was built, and no one purchased it for any reason. I never understood why, and at some point I stopped trying to figure it out. We saw the place as an escape, a hideout. We only discovered the sedatives and medicine when we were fourteen, but never really paid any attention to it.

I never thought I'd actually need to use the sedatives, but here I am, standing in the corner of the room farthest away from the boy lying motionless on the ground. I don't know how long I sit there, staring at Xander, when suddenly I realize why I'm even here in the first place. Mom. I take one last look at Xander before jogging out of the room and initiating a fingerprint lock from the outside, and out of the building, making sure no one sees me coming out. I know I will have to come back for him. I check my watch, looking for news on the attack. It seems to have been completely buried, as if it never happened at all. It sends shivers of unease down my spine, and I hug Emma's windbreaker closer to my body. September rain is starting to hit the area, and I pull the hood up. I jog all the way to my neighborhood, avoiding all the faces of the unfortunate pedestrians caught in the rain. I run faster the closer I get to Jupiter Sector, my panic increasing with each sector limit. The world starts to fade, leaving just me and the road, and the rain comes in sharp, stinging droplets, pelting my face. It doesn't take long to get from Terra Sector to Jupiter Sector when I'm running as fast as I can normally, but it seems to be years until I finally reach my neighborhood. I swallow slightly when I see all the precautionary tape. Weirdly enough though, no one seems to be guarding the area. I let my eyes run over the area once, and then I slip under the tape, and towards my house.

I move in the shadows of the houses, and when I finally reach mine, I stop. I don't know what I'll find in there. Will it be my mother? Will she be alive?

I ignore these thoughts and walk up to the door. To my horrified surprise, the door is unlocked. I step in, and...

It's normal.

The house looks like it's in pristine condition, "Mom?" I call out, the immediately cup my hand over my mouth. My voice rings out like a gunshot in the silent house. I walk quietly up the stairs, skipping the ones that I know that creak. I bite my tongue to keep from calling out for either mom or Alura. I hesitate in front of the door of my mom's room, which is closed. My hand trembles just slightly on the doorknob, my heart pounding in my throat.

~

"Glass coffin?"

Mom laughs a little grimly, tucks a lock of my hair behind my ear. It still bothers me sometimes, how little I look like her, being adopted and everything, but she looks at me like I'm the most beautiful person in the world. Is that fair, with her two other kids?

"They put the bodies in the glass cases, and there are means of preservation, I suppose. It's the quickest way to... dispose of the bodies. The bodies they don't care about."

"Why would they ever need to ask that?" I ask, sounding as horrified as a ten year old could be.

"Mass death," was all my mother said. "They leave the glass at the place of the death. Nowhere to put the bodies. They turn the spot where they died into their grave, because they don't have time to do anything more. Just the... extent of their half-hearted damage control."

"I hope that never happens to you, Mom," I say quietly. "I hope so, too, Viva."

~

There was a vase of orange and yellow lilies on the nightstand next to my mother's bed, and I now sit, meticulously arranging them on top of the the glass case that holds her body. I know they will wilt soon, but I pay attention to none of it. The vase is empty and all the flowers are finally on top of the case, and I finally stand up. I don't cry. It seems like I've been here for hours, but I've only been here for about twenty minutes. The rain is pouring, outside, and I stand in my mother's room, staring at her unbreathing, unmoving body.

I think back to how I left Xander. I suppose I'll have to go back and do something with him. If I stay here, I'll have to keep him with me. I don't know what'll happen in the long run, probably that I'll have to get Xander out of my life. I made an empty promise to kill him; I just wish I had the stomach to do it.

I close the door as quietly as I can, as if Mom is still in there, sleeping, not... not the way she is now. But as soon as the door is closed, I feel some explosive emotion coursing through my veins and I kick the door as hard as I can, not caring what happens to me, not caring what happens to it because I don't care, I don't care, I don't care.

I don't care.

Screaming as I bolt down the stairs, screaming as I sink to the floor, fighting for breath in my own storm.

I don't care.

I don't care.

I don't shed a single tear.

~

"Get up."

He's stirring, and I loop my arms under his shoulders, dragging him up. He's still unsteady on his feet when he turns to face me, and he sways forward just a bit, causing me to immediately set my hands on his hips to keep him from crushing me. "Jesus," he mutters, and I suddenly realize that I've curled my fingers through the belt loops of his jeans. "You good?" I ask, looking him right in the eyes. I won't look anything less than composed around him. "Yeah, he says, his voice quiet. I let go of him, running a hand through my hair. "We've gotta get you out of sight, and out of mind," I say. He looks slightly shaken, and all at once, burning guilt rises up in my throat. Have I done too much?

The moment passes and I back away. I activate my watch and call Lyra. Her family is going back to Glass Planet tonight, meaning her apartment would be empty for three weeks or so. Plenty of time for me to figure out what to do.

"Dude, I'm doing some last minute packing," she says instead of a greeting.

"Yeah, I know. I need to stay in your apartment for a few days after you leave." Lyra gasps slightly. "Is it because of the attack on Jupiter? Is Olivia and Alura okay? Where-"

"Mom's gone," I say, and a blade of grief tears me open, Saying it out loud makes it so real, too real, more real than I thought it was. I hear Xander inhale sharply. "I don't know about Alura. But Lyr, I really need to be there. I can't be in that house."

Lyra's silent for a few seconds, and I'm opening my mouth to say hello when she finally speaks.

"We leave in thirty minutes. Five forty-five. I'm putting your face in the retina scanner. It's all yours."

"Thank you," I breathe, tears burning behind my eyes. Not now.

"Of course, Viva," she says gently, before the line goes dead. I turn to look at Xander, who's pinned me down with his chocolatey eyes. "I'm sorry," he says. "About your mother." I say nothing. The silence that's rung in my ears since I've found my mother grows deafeningly loud. He walks over to me, guides me out of the building, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

I let him.