Every Second Counts. Phan.

seven

phil

the rain was slow and gentle at first, it went almost unnoticed. it wasn't until droplets fell into the paper that i realised it was raining. i looked up and saw the deep black clouds intertwining with each other. i've never minded the rain, actually i quite enjoy reading while the rain drenches everything around me.

"phil its going to make my hair curly" dan shouts dramatically grabbed ahold of my arm. i like this dan.

"do you want to head back now then?" i questioned looking up at him.

"yes. lets go. what way?"

i wiped the map free of water but unfortunately wiped away the map markings.

"dan we have a problem"

"why what happened?" a look of concern slowly
grew on dans features.

i showed him the map with the missing section in the middle.

"phil how are we meant to know how to get back?"

i bit my lip nervously. i didn't know what to do. i was scared. i could feel the happiness slipping away from me. a feeling i was used to now. i wished my happiness would have lasted a few more days.

"phil" dan pulled me from my thoughts.

"what are you going to do?" i was panicking now.

"i'm sure they'll notice we're missing and come find us."

i shut my eyes trying to keep the tears in. i heard dan shuffle behind me and pull me into a hug. i was shocked by his actions at first but soon leaned into his touch. i let a few tears slide down my face. i was having flash back of the times when i used to get lost with my parents. one time it took seven hours to find me in ikea. i was found crying by the kitchens as i thought my parents had left me alone. i was scared we would die out and be found six mouths later as withered skeletons. the thought send shivers down my spine. 

i felt myself sink into a depression state. i stared blankly at the shining leaves ahead of me. i could hear dan taking next to me but couldn't understand any of it.

"-ck i need you"

it was dans turn to cry. fat heavy tears splashed onto my hand. i slowly turned my head towards him. he looked so different. i had only seen him with a blank expression on his face so seeing new emotions on him was weird. the vulnerability dan was presenting made me realise i needed to be strong. i lent my head onto his shoulder and waited.

"your hairs gone curly" i said with a light laugh.

"i told you this would happen" dan replies while wiping a few tears from his cheeks.

"i like it. you should keep it like that more often"

"no!" dan exclaimed "i hate it" a genuine laugh filled my ears. it was beautiful and i wanted to hear it again.

"do your parents understand your depression?" it was a risky question but i wanted dan to be more open in the hope it makes him feel better.

"my dad's not around anymore. my mum thinks that's was triggered it, but i've always felt different and distance but i just thought that's how everyone felt. my mum goes on about me getting better but it's not like i can flick a switch and feel okay"

"i know what you mean my parents don't understand can my mood can change quickly. i can't explain it, it just happens. it's like i know i'm sad but i can't tell you why"

"that's how i feel most of time. you're lucky you get a break from i don't. i get moments where i feel content but it's not regularly"

"how do you feel now?" i looked into his eyes.

"content" he replied bitting his lip while looking down at me.

i didn't say anything. i let the silence surround us. i didn't want this moment to end.

"daniel philip" spoke to soon.