Chapter Forty One - Decisions

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Getting back home was always easier than going out, so much easier to the point where it was strange arriving back at Kensington Palace without a single camera going off. For the press, the night ended when they left the Goring Hotel and faded into the darkness. Not that Harry was complaining. The lack of any media presence at the gates allowed them to go to bed without feeling like they were surrounded.

Despite this, the atmosphere in the car was far from calm. The tension had grown as soon as the door had shut behind them, when Emma had pretty much blurted out her big plan. He had been quiet ever since. Emma didn't say another word, nothing to add... as if she regretted revealing it altogether.

The silence was torture. "It's just hard to contemplate right now." He said as they were getting back inside.

"Why is it? Why is it so hard now?"

"Because... I don't know. Because we're married now!"

"Look, I know it would be difficult. Hell, I'm not even sure if I want to do it."

He could tell that she was sure, knowing that with that little glint in her eye her heart had become set on something. On the outside she was still uncertain, but on the inside the gears were already turning.

"You sounded pretty sure before."

"I don't want to do it without your support Harry."

That was the hard part, supporting her decisions was never hard to do but when it came to something that would likely break centuries of family policy, standing by his wife grew very problematic.

"Of course I support you. I always have. But this is something different. Something Granny might actually say no to. This is something my mother would have done."

"And that makes it bad? Your mother did great things even if she broke family protocol."

"Yeah and look how that turned out!" Harry shouted.

"What? Is that why you wont allow this? You think the same will happen to me? To us?"

"No..." He said uncertainly, looking away from her. It was hard not to worry about his wife suffering the same fate as his mother. Life as a royal was never very forgiving to the bright sparks of the world. He feared as much when he married her, that one day her eternal flame would be snuffed out and she would be left empty. The fear that this could be that time was all too real. Harry moved them into a quiet corridor, wanting to avoid the apartment and the kids until they were done.

"Maybe, yes..." he backtracked. "You know what will happen."

"Of course. I've thought this over hundreds of times in the last hour. I know it would be hard to do both, but it would be manageable."

"I thought you wanted another baby?" Harry asked. It felt like that idea had been pushed aside when talk of making movies started.

"I thought you wanted one too?" She pressed him back.

"I did. I do..."

"We're still a good age, theres no reason that we can't have all three."

"Not all at once, you couldn't do all three and do them well ."

"That would be silly. We would start off slowly, just a couple of films with breaks in between. It wouldn't be like I was back filming Ravens again."

"Would you act again?"

"Maybe. But I want to direct."

"That would be easier for the staff to handle."

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