A Little Too Far to the Right // l.h + a.i

The Game: Part One

Ashton Irwin adjusted the leather blindfold that had been placed on his face minutes before. He bit his lower lip, wondering what was going to happen. Actually, he knew what was going to happen, just not the entirety of it.

He and the others were at BBC Radio One that day for interviews and to promote their single “She Looks So Perfect”. Along with that, they were going to play a game that the DJ Scott Mills announced to be called “5 Seconds of Snogging”. The game was exactly that. One of them would have to be blindfolded and would be given objects to kiss for five seconds. And unfortunately for Ashton, he was the unlucky victim. He sighed as his band mates and best friends snickered behind him.

Scott started announcing the game to listeners. He explained what it was they were doing and how it was going to work. Ashton could feel a camera on him as well, and he internally groaned. There would be a video of this online later, no doubt.

“Ashton from 5 Seconds of Summer is sat on a chair with a leather blindfold on,” Scott started. “The rest of the members are stood behind laughing.”

At that, Michael Clifford, Luke Hemmings, and Calum Hood started to fake laugh at Ashton’s position. Scott continued to explain the rules of the game, clarifying a few things for Ashton as well. He was asked what he would not like to kiss, and Ashton listed off the top things he would not want his lips to touch. One would be a kiwi fruit, because they had prickly hairs and they would feel weird on his lips. Like kissing a man with a prickly beard. However if the beard belonged to Jeremy McKinnon from A Day To Remember, Ashton would gladly accept. He would pull a Katniss Everdeen, shouting, “I volunteer!”.

Secondly, he wouldn’t want to kiss dirt, for obvious reasons. Who knows what could be in there. Lastly he wouldn’t want to kiss a kitten. Ashton just didn’t really like cats.

“Let’s start snogging!” Scott declared.

Moments later, Ashton felt something prickly press up against his lips. He cringed but followed along with the rules of the game and puckered his lips against the object. Oh great, he thought. A kiwi fruit. Finally, after being teased about kissing the object, the kiwi was pulled away from him and he was asked to guess what it was. “Is it a kiwi fruit?” he asked. He worded it like a question, even though he was one hundred percent positive it was a kiwi. He laughed at the irony. He had kissed exactly what he didn’t want to. However now he was slightly worried that he would be given a pile of dirt and a kitten.

Michael brought forward the next item. He was told it was an open-mouth kiss and that made Ashton laugh. When Ashton moved forward with his lips puckered, he felt nothing there and pulled back. “Did I miss?” he asked, slightly amused. Suddenly he felt something hit his face. He didn’t know what it was; just that what had hit him was cold. “Oh god! What is that?” he asked. Whatever it was, he did not want to kiss it. Michael kept trying to get Ashton to open his mouth for the object, but he refused and turned his head, only to have it moved back. Michael held his chin and he felt himself getting hit with the cold object. Finally after another few seconds, the object was in his mouth, being held in place by his teeth. Ashton knew what it was immediately from the taste. He grabbed it and shook it around.

“This is definitely a frankfurt,” he said confidently, trying to hold in his laughter.

The next object was even weirder. Or at least something he did not expect. It was a small puppy, which Ashton was hoping to be an ewok from Star Wars. Finally, he was given the last object. He sighed in relief internally that this game would finally be ending. He kept his ears alert to try to get a hint at what it would be. He heard only a very faint jingle, like a necklace. He heard a laugh directly in front of him and immediately identified the laugh to come from Luke.