im consistently beginning to lose my grasp on the precipice of
my own head space, im overwhelmed by this
rush of adrenaline
which now seems
to be impotent
for the fear im
withholding
the
fear of
slipping
o
f
f
i keep losing focus its all weary i see a massive fog and a hand emerges out of it and i know
it comes for me but i don't
know what part of me
exactly; it dissipates
before it could
touch
me
and suddenly i lose all grasp on substantiality and the only
way to make myself
believe that im
alive if im
breathing
if im still
housing
in this
corporeal form is when im punching the walls or
chugging hot and
bitter mugs of
black coffee
down my
throat
so i could wake my tongue my throat my chest the fire on
my fingertips wake my
senses while i massage
my scalp and light my
hair up in flames and
as my scalp soaks
the warmth and
my brain
understands decodes deciphers the touch of whatever matter
its being caressed by it
shoots my heart with
life and i know im
breathing im
living im
housing
in this
corporeal form and to be able to communicate with myself i whimper as the only way to
do so is to wail; like a
newborn wrapped
in a freshly baby
powder scented
cloth tucked
away in its
craddle it
screams
to be
heard
to make
the ones
around
it aware
that its
alive
its
breathing
its
there
and with every trespassing thought that seems to
multiply with each
passing second i
forget about
what it was
like to be
dead for
a while
until
the thoughts have finished their ceremonial circle and it all
begins again with the
first thought
am
i
still
h
ere ?
