- letter of love ♡ sidemen + willne -

❁ dear simon ❁

dear simon,
you cheated, lied and treated
me like i was nothing.
but i can't be mad
because that's the same exact thing
i did to you.
while you sat at your chair and recorded
i sat at a fancy restaurant dining with will.
and while you were out
having fun with friends
i stayed and had fun with josh, in bed.
but i can't sit here and act like
i was the only bad guy.
you know what you did,
whether you try to deny it or not.
january 23rd, our 2 year anniversary
i got all ready to go out like you promised.
that red dress you always liked,
my hair all done up in loose curls,
those beautiful tall heels i would always trip in
and you'd always be there to catch me.
but i waited and waited for your car to pull up
waited for you to engulf me in
one of your big hugs
and let your expensive cologne mix
with my cheap perfume.
i waited for us to go a restaurant
that was way to fancy
for people like us who
roll all the windows down
and blast stupid songs from movies
like high school musical.
but you never came
and i sat on my bed wondering what i did.
i thought it was because you found out
about will and i dating
and josh and i doing it behind your back
and this was your way of a lame ass breakup.
i wouldn't of blamed you though.
that was my stupid mistake.
but instead as i was waiting i got a text,
maybe you were running late or something.
but it wasn't you.
it was picture sent from talia,
of your lips on hers
with the caption
"sorry he couldn't make it ;)"
i was infuriated
at not only you but at myself.
for when i sat and thought about it
i saw the real simon.
the simon who says he's recording when he's really with another girl.
the simon who apologizes he doesn't have enough time to stop by
but sure as hell has enough time
to pick up talia
and go get something to eat.
the simon who says he loved me
and the stella who believed him.
after that night we stopped talking for a while.
i only visited the house when
you weren't home.
and the only text that was exchanged
between us
was one sent when you were drunk
consisting of  random letters and numbers.
but at that point we were
technically still together
with the label "boyfriend" and "girlfriend"
but in reality we were nothing
and we haven't been anything in a while.
we both knew inside it wouldn't work out.
we were so young and dumb
and were still in that "fairytale" type of stage.
but you're not my prince
and i was never your princess
and we were stupid to mix up reality
with an unrealistic story from a book.
the first couple months it was me and you against the world
and then it turned into
me and you against each other
and the world put aside in the background.
i think you knew i had someone on the side,
but too afraid to confront me
because little did i know you had one too.
in march we decided to break up
because what was that label
doing for us anymore.
you told the fans.
yet lied and said we just fell out of love.
we've been out of love for a while si.
though i do believe there was
a point in time
when you did really love me.
there were times where you treated me
like i was the most precious diamond
in the museum
but as time went on
the love wasn't there anymore
and i was just the
the clumps of dust on the floor
waiting to be swept away.
so this is my letter to you simon.
i hope you read it and
feel just as i felt writing it.
guilty and disgusted
sad to see me go
but relieved.
simon minter
this is my
letter of love
to you.